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Chapter 9
yesterdays ago
I saw long haired hippies in black and white
religious groupies squatting everywhere
telling fortunes under Shaman trance
drop a bit of change into the center of the tambourine
and watch them twirl like marionettes
on every corner of Mister Rogers make-believe neighborhood
she took me winter shopping at the mall
a Nostradamus at every entrance
Salvation Army Santas ring their bells like
Lionel Hampton
so grandpa use to tell me
when he jitterbugged in dance halls back in his day
and I didn't know who to believe in
didn't really care
as long as my toys were under the tree every Christmas morning
if I were bold enough to ask
and I was never bold enough to ask
would be told to
look it up in chapter 9
it's in there somewhere
look it up for yourself
book
chapter
not sure
but it's in there somewhere
answer found like a needle in a haystack of verses
that thing that will cure your ill
save your soul from sin
the secret sauce in that Sunday afternoon dinner
the preacher and his wife coming back each week
succumbing to the
"itis"
found prostrate on the living room couch
resurrected in time to preach the seven o'clock service
text
I don't remember
book
new testament
old testament
long lost in old and dusty memories and travelled miles
but I do remember being told
the answer would be somewhere in chapter 9
and to go
look it up for yourself
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Critiques
neopoet
1 day 17 hours ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem builds its strongest effects through accumulation, gathering fragments of childhood religious and cultural memory into a portrait of inherited, half-understood faith. The central conceit — "chapter 9" as the perpetually deferred answer, the place where everything important supposedly resides but which no one can quite locate — is genuinely effective. It captures the way adults pass down conviction without explanation, and the way a child absorbs ritual without comprehension. The repeated injunction to "look it up for yourself" lands with real weight by the end, especially when the final stanza returns to it after the admission that book, testament, and text have all faded. The structure earns that closing.
The first stanza is the most crowded and the least controlled. Hippies, religious groupies, Shaman trances, fortune tellers with tambourines, and Mister Rogers all arrive in quick succession, and the images compete rather than cohere. "yesterdays ago" is an arresting opening phrase, but the lines that follow scatter the reader's attention across too many disparate figures before the poem has established its footing. Consider whether every element here serves the larger movement toward the chapter-9 motif, or whether some are simply atmospheric clutter that delays the poem's actual subject.
By contrast, the third and fourth stanzas are where the writing tightens and the voice becomes specific. "answer found like a needle in a haystack of verses" does a great deal of work in a single line, fusing the cliché with the literal stacks of scripture. The detail of the preacher and his wife "succumbing to the 'itis,'" prostrate on the couch and "resurrected in time to preach the seven o'clock service," is the most alive passage in the poem — concrete, wry, and affectionate without sentimentality. The word "resurrected" doing double duty there is the kind of precise choice the earlier stanzas would benefit from.
The fragmentation of the closing stanzas — single words isolated on their own lines, "book," "chapter," "not sure," "text," "I don't remember" — mostly works as an enactment of memory breaking down. The risk is that this technique can read as a shortcut to feeling rather than an earned one. It succeeds here because the poem has supplied enough texture beforehand that the gaps feel like genuine erosion rather than withheld effort. Watch that balance; one or two fewer isolated fragments might sharpen the effect rather than dilute it.
A few smaller matters. The simile "ring their bells like Lionel Hampton" is vivid but somewhat strained, since Hampton is associated with the vibraphone rather than handbells; the grandfather's jitterbugging context partly rescues it, but the connection asks the reader to do reconstructive work. The shifts in verb tense and the dropped subject in "would be told to" create a slight grammatical wobble that may be intentional as voice, but it momentarily obscures who is speaking and to whom. Clarifying that line would lose nothing.
The poem's most defensible strength is its refusal to resolve. The speaker never finds chapter 9, never recovers the text, and the poem honors that by ending on the unanswered instruction rather than a tidy revelation. Trust that instinct, and let the opening stanza do less so the rest can do more.
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Geezer
3 days 4 hours ago
To me...
this is a collage of memories looked in on every so often, and Chapter 9 is a stock answer to all of the little kid questions you asked. Perhaps because the adults weren't engaged enough to make sure that you understood what was going on; you were expected to obey and that was it. A tiny bit of sarcasm mixed in this piece. LoL
I'm not sure about some of the lines, what does the line:
"I saw long haired hippies in black and white" mean?
Does it mean that there were pictures of hippies in black and white, or that there were black and white hippies? Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.