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May 24, 2026
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No Matter
No Matter
Shallow breaths of those who sleep bare no witness
of the soul it keeps
Secrets kept of those who weep make no difference
to those that leap
Silencing those who dare to peep have no bearing
on those who creep.
— Tink, May 24, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 week 5 days ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores themes of silence, secrecy, and indifference through a rhythmic, almost chant-like structure. The repetition of phrases like "makes no difference," "has no bearing," and the parallelism between "those who weep," "those that leap," "those who dare to peep," and "those who creep" creates a sense of inevitability and detachment.
Strengths: - The poem’s rhythm and rhyme scheme contribute to a musical quality that enhances its meditative tone. - The use of contrasting actions (sleep, weep, leap, peep, creep) effectively conveys a spectrum of emotional and physical states, adding depth to the theme of unnoticed or unheeded experiences. - The concise lines keep the poem focused and impactful.
Areas for improvement: - Some lines feel slightly awkward in phrasing, such as "Shallow breaths of those who sleep bares no witness" — the subject-verb agreement is off ("breaths" is plural, so "bare" would be correct). - The meaning could be clarified by expanding or reworking certain lines to better connect the images and ideas. For example, "Secrets kept of those who weep makes no difference to those that leap" is intriguing but somewhat abstract; elaborating on what "leap" symbolizes could deepen understanding. - Consider varying the line lengths or punctuation to enhance the flow and emphasize key moments. - The poem’s emotional impact might be strengthened by incorporating more concrete imagery or sensory details to ground the abstract concepts.
Overall, the poem has a compelling rhythm and thematic potential but could benefit from refinement in language clarity and imagery to fully engage the reader.
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patrickgadoury
3 days 13 hours ago
Title
This is a powerful piece.
My only hickup as a reader, and this could be just me, is that restatting the title in the first line isn't needed at all.
Tink
1 day 2 hours ago
Thank You!
I do believe, that was a mishap...Copy & Paste
First Poem since being back. getting use to the format.
Thank you for your kind words.