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Grudges
I often make a statement many people do not believe.
As a rule, I do not hold grudges.
I'm sure if I did deep enough I could uncover a few that I do hold but as I can't recall any to mind, I'm going to stick with the statement.
The thing I keep saying is:
"I dislike behaviour, not people"
And so I will highlight behaviour I do not like, I will blather on and on about this behaviour. I will give examples and tell stories and prattle on as if anything I said was important. But the basic fact remains that while I may not like the behaviour, I don't hate the person.
There are a few folks convinced that I dislike or hate them. I am sorry to disappoint these people (OK, not really, I rather enjoy the fact that i am disappointing them because of the way they are behaving) but, honestly, I don't really care about you in any manner.
Oh, I might not trust you or may think interacting with you is a waste of time or a host of other things, but that's a judgement based on your behaviour, not a judgement of your personal worth as a human being.
For those people who have children, this should be a recognised concept. How often have you absolutely hated the actions of your children but not hated them? I extend this attitude to the general populace, choosing to believe that while action is wrong it does not mean I must hate the person even if the action is despicable.
To be sure there are some folks whose behaviour is so continuously poor that I choose not to associate with them or to act towards them in such a was as to convince them that they do not wish to associate with me but even in these circumstances, I do not hate them or hold a grudge against them and, in the future, should we reach some sort of understanding, I can interact with them.
Because I don't hold grudges.
Basically I am of the opinion that if someone can't remind you as to why you do not want to be around them with their behaviour, then being around them is not a bad thing. But I have a long memory for behaviour patterns and when they are abusive, I refuse to interact. Abuse is wrong and anyone who requires you let them abuse you emotionally, physically, or in any other manner, in order for them to like you, well, their behaviour is telling you they are idiots.
You don't have to hate them, you just need to leave or force them away.
As a rule, I do not hold grudges.
I'm sure if I did deep enough I could uncover a few that I do hold but as I can't recall any to mind, I'm going to stick with the statement.
The thing I keep saying is:
"I dislike behaviour, not people"
And so I will highlight behaviour I do not like, I will blather on and on about this behaviour. I will give examples and tell stories and prattle on as if anything I said was important. But the basic fact remains that while I may not like the behaviour, I don't hate the person.
There are a few folks convinced that I dislike or hate them. I am sorry to disappoint these people (OK, not really, I rather enjoy the fact that i am disappointing them because of the way they are behaving) but, honestly, I don't really care about you in any manner.
Oh, I might not trust you or may think interacting with you is a waste of time or a host of other things, but that's a judgement based on your behaviour, not a judgement of your personal worth as a human being.
For those people who have children, this should be a recognised concept. How often have you absolutely hated the actions of your children but not hated them? I extend this attitude to the general populace, choosing to believe that while action is wrong it does not mean I must hate the person even if the action is despicable.
To be sure there are some folks whose behaviour is so continuously poor that I choose not to associate with them or to act towards them in such a was as to convince them that they do not wish to associate with me but even in these circumstances, I do not hate them or hold a grudge against them and, in the future, should we reach some sort of understanding, I can interact with them.
Because I don't hold grudges.
Basically I am of the opinion that if someone can't remind you as to why you do not want to be around them with their behaviour, then being around them is not a bad thing. But I have a long memory for behaviour patterns and when they are abusive, I refuse to interact. Abuse is wrong and anyone who requires you let them abuse you emotionally, physically, or in any other manner, in order for them to like you, well, their behaviour is telling you they are idiots.
You don't have to hate them, you just need to leave or force them away.