Simple Revenge.

Normally one does not talk about such things but every time I leave my house on the Heath at Dartford, even if it just to go into town for the weeks groceries I am attacked by a terrible itching. My head, my arms, my body and my legs even my feet and toes are plagued with this terrible itching sometimes for days on end. At first I thought that it was something I ate that disagreed with me was the cause of the itching. I went to my Doctor and told him of my complaint. My Doctor took a sample of my blood, he examined me thoroughly but could find no reason why I should be itching.

On going to bed I wore thick gloves to stop me scratching, I even took to wearing socks in my bed to stop me from using my toe nails to scratch. My doctor sent me to the local hospital where I saw three or was it four specialists in skin diseases. None of the specialists could find anything wrong with me. Physically I was very fit, pollen that sometimes causes people to cough and sneeze did not affect me. The attacks were only when I left my house. The Gardens both front and back were safe enough for me to work in even the woods or Fairyland I did not suffer these attacks.

I took to writing notes for the Butcher, the greengrocer and the baker in fact I used taxis to get whatever I needed in town. The Taxi Driver took my notes and waited until my order was finished and then he delivered the goods to my house. One day when I went to Gravesend to get something for my computer the itching was so bad that instead of taking a bus back home I ordered a taxi to get me back to the safety of my house. Things could not go on like this I decided to go to London to a skin specialist in Harley Street.

By the time I got to Harley Street and saw the specialist I was itching so badly, that the tears were running down my face. The Harley Street specialist examined me, he got me to lie on a special couch and the whole of my body was treated with a modern ultra red lamp. This only made the itching worse. Sadly I left Harley Street and made my way home as quickly as I could. At home I ran myself a hot bath and soaked for a good two hours until the itching was gone.

All of the questions that I had been asked, Did I own a dog, is there a cat in my house or birds, have I budgerigars or canaries? I had none of these pets so it was not a pet that was causing the itching. One question I asked myself was why did the itching occur as soon as I left my house? I decided in my desperation to ask the wise old fairies whether they could help me, after all they had great knowledge of plants and herbs roots and berries perhaps they could help me.

The wise old fairies asked me many questions they tried many ointments and lotions on my skin nothing helped. The wise old fairies then sent me to the Fairy University. Here I was examined, my body , my blood, they even took a few hairs from my head that they examined. Nothing seemed to be the matter with me. No illnesses, no bad blood, even the Fairy Professors at the University could not help me. Her Majesty was told of my mysterious itching attacks as soon as I left my home. Her Majesty came to see me one day after I had finished eating my breakfast.

The flash of blue light the puff of smoke and Her Majesty was in my kitchen. “Why did you not come to me as soon as this itching started?” she asked. Shaking her head she took a very rough cloth from her pocket and asked me to bare my arm. Then she rubbed the cloth up and down my arm until I saw that Her Majesty was taking a sample of my skin. From Her pocket Her Majesty took her special magic mirror and gently shook the skin on to the mirror.

Pictures formed on the clear glass, First a man that even I recognise it was the Wizard Mordecai. Mordecai was mixing herbs and powders in a large retort, then he placed a Bunsen burner under the retort and set it alight. Soon the mixture that he had made was bubbling away. After a few minutes the pictures showed him following me on my way into town to do my shopping. The day was wet and as he passed me he blew some of the mixture at me, I had not noticed this because of the wet rainy weather.

My house and gardens and Fairyland or Dartford Heath all have a magic spell that protects me from all harm be it magical or bodily harm. Every time I left the protection of my home the mixture took effect and the itching started each time afresh. Her Majesty waved her magic wand over me and I actually felt something leaving my skin. The itching is now gone.

Mordecai, I left to Her Majesty. Her Majesty used the same mixture to punish the Wizard Mordecai. For him it is ten times worse. I at home or in Fairyland was free from the itching, Mordecai has the itching day and night for one whole year. If you should get attacks of itching it is probably something that you ate such as too much sherbet or sweeties. Mordecai does not usually bother with humans it was just me I had written too many stories about him and this was his way of getting his own back on me.