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How to be Popular
I know this will come as a complete surprise but I have never been a generally popular person. I can see you are stunned. After all, doesn't everyone view me as the nicest person on the planet? Aren't I held up as the epitome of cooperation? Am I not the first person who springs to mind when you think reconciliation?
OK, perhaps not.
But I have discovered something in my years on this earth, there are people who are popular because they are competent and people who are popular because they are insecure. You can tell the difference because the competent people tell you what they think and how they act and react and what they plan to do. The insecure people talk about other people and position themselves in relation to them and enlist their friends to make moral judgments against others and generally are trying to tear someone down in order to build themselves up.
But as the incompetent are fearful of the competent, most popularity is driven by insecurity, which is why I care little for it. After all, the accolades of the incompetent are worth exactly as much as their censure. That's nothing in case you were wondering.
Right now several people who have a congenital need to be offended are certain I am talking personally about them. What a bunch of fucking morons. Once again people, I do not attack by inference. When I attack a person I attack them by name. If your name has not been specifically mentioned, I am not attacking you. If you insist that I am then you are a delusional idiot and I take no responsibility for your psychosis.
You may go pound sand.
Oh, and that's a phrase I use often. Just because I may have used it to any single person does not mean it is "code" that I am attacking them now. That I have to explain this, and that it will still be taken out of context, proves so bloody much.
The way my brain is wired I tend to live my life through analogy. Events and circumstances are always reviewed and considered and threads of patterns are identified and twined to see if they match and paths are defined based on what is the best probable outcome. When that is proven to be less than desirable, they are torn apart and reworked to find a better path. I have been told that this seems to be a lot of work and my response has always been: "OK."
Breathing is a lot of work but I don't plan to take any time off from it.
I suspect some of you are disappointed. Happy to help.
Fine, but what does this have to do with popularity?
Just this, fads are popular, trends are popular, hell, white bread is popular and as I have an aversion to these things I take no small amount of pride in not being associated with them.
Popularity in my mind is generally compromise geared to the incompetent. Popularity is uniformity geared toward hoping people like you by subjugating your personality. Popularity is a desperate cry for recognition. Which just may explain why I do not participate in popularity contests when it can be helped and if I must, well, I make my position known and ignore the contest.
As a case in point in the way back of 1977 a friend of mine and I put together an idea for a school club. We were both science fiction fans and so we approached the school administration, determined the requirements to found a club, found a faculty sponsor, circulated information, gathered potential members, and held out first meeting at which there were elections. Rob and I stood for President and Vice President. After all, we had done all the work and obviously were the best choices.
Of course we lost. More popular people were elected. If ever I needed a lesson on why not to be popular, this was it as in two (2) months time the group came to us begging that we take over. Apparently popularity and competence do not always go hand-n-hand.
Who knew?
Oh, wait, we did.
And every instance over the last 30+ years has only reinforced this lesson to the point that I avoid nearly anything that is popular and always question my motivations should I be involved in something that has become popular. I distrust popularity because, time and again, it has proven to be little more than vanity. The exception to this is popularity through competence.
This is something of which I am a huge fan. It's why I respect and admire Gordon Ramsey, why I respect and admire my father, why I respect and admire anyone who does any task in a competent manner.
You might say I have a lifelong love affair with competence and a lifelong loathing of non-competence based popularity.
I've mentioned before that my tag line "annoying the world, one person at a time (group discounts available)" is not a mantra but an observation. Through much thought and discussion I have come to the conclusion that the reason I so easily annoy some folks is that while I hold myself to a high standard for actions and behaviour, the problem is that as I believe everyone is equal, as a person, to all others, I dare hold everyone else to a similar standard.
I expect people to be responsible for their actions. I expect people to think before they speak. I expect people to treat others with respect and dignity even if they do not like them. And, apparently, this annoys people.
Basically, I am a naive cynic. I know people will be petty and juvenile but I still expect them to behave like adults.
As recent circumstances have demonstrated, someone will decide I am attacking them personally and they will leave moronic and ill-considered responses to this blog post. Others will come by and tell me what a horrible person I am for daring to have an opinion and daring to post it in my personal space. Accusations will be made, fabrications constructed, and they will all go away after a few days clamoring, once more, that I be banned from Neopoet because I am so mean.
Let's get this laid out correctly though. They will come to my personal space, fabricate moronic and childish attacks they desperately hope will hurt me, and then they will petition that I be banned.
How is this sane or rational behaviour?
Dear God, is it any wonder I despise popularity so much?
OK, perhaps not.
But I have discovered something in my years on this earth, there are people who are popular because they are competent and people who are popular because they are insecure. You can tell the difference because the competent people tell you what they think and how they act and react and what they plan to do. The insecure people talk about other people and position themselves in relation to them and enlist their friends to make moral judgments against others and generally are trying to tear someone down in order to build themselves up.
But as the incompetent are fearful of the competent, most popularity is driven by insecurity, which is why I care little for it. After all, the accolades of the incompetent are worth exactly as much as their censure. That's nothing in case you were wondering.
Right now several people who have a congenital need to be offended are certain I am talking personally about them. What a bunch of fucking morons. Once again people, I do not attack by inference. When I attack a person I attack them by name. If your name has not been specifically mentioned, I am not attacking you. If you insist that I am then you are a delusional idiot and I take no responsibility for your psychosis.
You may go pound sand.
Oh, and that's a phrase I use often. Just because I may have used it to any single person does not mean it is "code" that I am attacking them now. That I have to explain this, and that it will still be taken out of context, proves so bloody much.
The way my brain is wired I tend to live my life through analogy. Events and circumstances are always reviewed and considered and threads of patterns are identified and twined to see if they match and paths are defined based on what is the best probable outcome. When that is proven to be less than desirable, they are torn apart and reworked to find a better path. I have been told that this seems to be a lot of work and my response has always been: "OK."
Breathing is a lot of work but I don't plan to take any time off from it.
I suspect some of you are disappointed. Happy to help.
Fine, but what does this have to do with popularity?
Just this, fads are popular, trends are popular, hell, white bread is popular and as I have an aversion to these things I take no small amount of pride in not being associated with them.
Popularity in my mind is generally compromise geared to the incompetent. Popularity is uniformity geared toward hoping people like you by subjugating your personality. Popularity is a desperate cry for recognition. Which just may explain why I do not participate in popularity contests when it can be helped and if I must, well, I make my position known and ignore the contest.
As a case in point in the way back of 1977 a friend of mine and I put together an idea for a school club. We were both science fiction fans and so we approached the school administration, determined the requirements to found a club, found a faculty sponsor, circulated information, gathered potential members, and held out first meeting at which there were elections. Rob and I stood for President and Vice President. After all, we had done all the work and obviously were the best choices.
Of course we lost. More popular people were elected. If ever I needed a lesson on why not to be popular, this was it as in two (2) months time the group came to us begging that we take over. Apparently popularity and competence do not always go hand-n-hand.
Who knew?
Oh, wait, we did.
And every instance over the last 30+ years has only reinforced this lesson to the point that I avoid nearly anything that is popular and always question my motivations should I be involved in something that has become popular. I distrust popularity because, time and again, it has proven to be little more than vanity. The exception to this is popularity through competence.
This is something of which I am a huge fan. It's why I respect and admire Gordon Ramsey, why I respect and admire my father, why I respect and admire anyone who does any task in a competent manner.
You might say I have a lifelong love affair with competence and a lifelong loathing of non-competence based popularity.
I've mentioned before that my tag line "annoying the world, one person at a time (group discounts available)" is not a mantra but an observation. Through much thought and discussion I have come to the conclusion that the reason I so easily annoy some folks is that while I hold myself to a high standard for actions and behaviour, the problem is that as I believe everyone is equal, as a person, to all others, I dare hold everyone else to a similar standard.
I expect people to be responsible for their actions. I expect people to think before they speak. I expect people to treat others with respect and dignity even if they do not like them. And, apparently, this annoys people.
Basically, I am a naive cynic. I know people will be petty and juvenile but I still expect them to behave like adults.
As recent circumstances have demonstrated, someone will decide I am attacking them personally and they will leave moronic and ill-considered responses to this blog post. Others will come by and tell me what a horrible person I am for daring to have an opinion and daring to post it in my personal space. Accusations will be made, fabrications constructed, and they will all go away after a few days clamoring, once more, that I be banned from Neopoet because I am so mean.
Let's get this laid out correctly though. They will come to my personal space, fabricate moronic and childish attacks they desperately hope will hurt me, and then they will petition that I be banned.
How is this sane or rational behaviour?
Dear God, is it any wonder I despise popularity so much?