a desire deferred

This one's all about watching the ladies pass by and wondering "What if??" ;)

20-something

as i sit where i sat yesterday and the night previously
i spy your form approaching
you are all smiles and curves and flashing eyes
or maybe this fire is entirely a product of my own
hyperactive
overly hopeful
moderately naive
imagination
so you cross the ground i occupy
at this time
and i cannot help but fantasize in the deepest regions of this my
heart  about how it would be for us to
know
understand
love
commiserate
but how is this even possible? i am fully aware of the situation
i have been cast into
ever since i strolled off the C-130
and it could never be
wretched company of idealistic horndogs who pollute your image
with "game" and remarks not quite as pure
as the sentiments i seem to feel at this
time and place this pure visage i discern
among bands of skanks and freaks and geeks
or perhaps they too might be worth knowing
loving
comprehending
but i do not target them with the occasionally inflamed
incisors of mental gymnastics i
brandish
as you pass by
this state is of an eyeblink's duration as reality pushes out
slow songs and picnics and philosophical discussions
so they sprawl bawling and sniffling in a
far
corner of my mind
yet my heart still longs to
know
understand
love
commiserate
i must backhand myself as i know it could
never
be
for now