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Ouch, My Ventilated Spleen!!

In the brochure of lifes events there is a giant chapter fittingly labeled "Mistakes". Here they mention your name, but there are also mistakes that stand out bluntly like a sore thumb as being the epitome of the misconceptions one can make.

Whether you have:
a) Fucked the wrong person unintentionally in the anus,
b) Dropped out of Piss-wipers educational school and toilets to study self-help techniques,
c) Enjoyed the stench of your own farts,
d) Developed a rather "sporting" methamphetamine habit
or e) Taken faulty financial advice from the cumstain that lives four doors down, who unsurprisingly cant afford a new front door or food for his annoying child, and is mortally saddened by his 9th eviction notice in two months,
YOU , it seems, are guilty of a bounty of unfortunate but completely avoidable mistakes for which you can only expect karma to shove several bricks up your arse, probably un-lubricated, possibly sideways.

These mistakes you can only learn of in your own time, SO heres a little factual information that may help on your journey to self discovery:
- You are of course THE most absurd person i've ever had the displeasure of being associated with.
- Not sure if you relise but you have a personality that is the equivalent of taking a shit (diarrhea) in zero gravity. unpleasant, messy, odourous and unwanted. I dont think anyone relises how spot on that simile is.
- You have the moral and ethical values of a middle aged street sex worker with an amusing heroin addiction.
- Your name has always been synonymous with phenomenal discriptions like "cuntscum","wankstain", "cuntdumpster", "butt-pirate", "tight fisted wanker", "fuckclump", "cockface", and "arsehat" not to mention the ever fitting label "Scrote: The human sized nut sling" with a list of mental deficiencies as long as your gracious ape-like arms.
I cannot go on without pointing out the fact that you have an uncanny ability to be the most annoying child anyone has come into contact with. With your inutile capability to alienate everyone, your pre-pubescent wit and your reproduction of bigotry and racist slurs, you have managed to force people into catapulting hatred your way. But of course, as common as it is with idiots, you are oblivious. You have somehow convinced yourself that you have friends, but i have witnessed them constantly ridicule you endlessly to and beyond your face. Consequently you are a joke to everyone you have annoyed with your presence. Thank all your religious deities for us not having to look at you all the time. We like our sanity no matter how sketchy it may be.

There seems to be a predicament in our situation that can only be fixed by your understanding and co-operation, both of which your comprehension is sub-standard. Our situation> i cannot stand you and you don't know it. The fact that i tear at your self esteem every single fucking unpleasant time we talk is not enough, seemingly, for you to understand that i want you to hurt. All kinds of hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, rolled up in stolen wet carpet rug and hurled off a high place kinda hurt.
Usually i do NOT wish death upon people but I'm willing to make an exception this time. You are quite the special case,  I do however agree with the notion that someday all things shall pass, this too, indeed shall pass like an unwanted kidney stone. Another brilliant simile for your existence if i do say so myself. Reluctantly having met you in the first place (my first mistake). My kingdom for a time machine.

Please shut your fucking disease ridden mouth before i fuckstart your face.