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Praise Addiction
Nearly everyone likes to see their work acknowledged. If we are going to put effort into something, it is nice to get feedback and positive feedback is so much nicer than negative feedback. The issue is that much of positive feedback has the same nutritional value as cotton candy. It looks nice, tastes sweet, but can't fill us and has a negative impact on our health.
Cotton candy is a wonderful treat but let's be honest, unless you are a hummingbird, it makes a lousy diet.
The problem arises in breaking the praise addiction cycle because if you are addicted to praise the chances are that you are a supplier as well and now you are part of a self-supporting and sustaining group of addicts and they will not take kindly to your wanting to stop. You will be accused of things, be called names, be ridiculed for not following the group, and then you will be ostracized and the praise will stop for you even as it is lavished on others.
Look at your work and the comments upon it. Do they offer any concrete path that will help you develop and grow as a writer and poet or are they merely acknowledgements that people like you and want to make you feel good? Now look at your own comments with the same eye. Are you an addict, a pusher, both, neither?
I have received great commentary on my work that has helped me progress as a writer. None of this has been unbridled praise. I would rather people not comment on my work unless they can note why they like or do not like it. that's my preference but I realise I have no control over it. I do, however, control what I say to other people and when I read something I like, I tell the poet why I like it, why it worked, how it affected me, etc. I encourage them with positive reinforcement that is more than "It touched me, you are gifted" or some other empty plattitude.
If a person claims to be a serious writer, praise should have a purpose above making someone feel good. If they make no claim, tell them any false accolade you desire but if you claim to be a serious writer, you need to realise that praise makes a good treat but a lousy diet.
Some people will decide this blog entry is a personal attack on them. These people are idiots.
Cotton candy is a wonderful treat but let's be honest, unless you are a hummingbird, it makes a lousy diet.
The problem arises in breaking the praise addiction cycle because if you are addicted to praise the chances are that you are a supplier as well and now you are part of a self-supporting and sustaining group of addicts and they will not take kindly to your wanting to stop. You will be accused of things, be called names, be ridiculed for not following the group, and then you will be ostracized and the praise will stop for you even as it is lavished on others.
Look at your work and the comments upon it. Do they offer any concrete path that will help you develop and grow as a writer and poet or are they merely acknowledgements that people like you and want to make you feel good? Now look at your own comments with the same eye. Are you an addict, a pusher, both, neither?
I have received great commentary on my work that has helped me progress as a writer. None of this has been unbridled praise. I would rather people not comment on my work unless they can note why they like or do not like it. that's my preference but I realise I have no control over it. I do, however, control what I say to other people and when I read something I like, I tell the poet why I like it, why it worked, how it affected me, etc. I encourage them with positive reinforcement that is more than "It touched me, you are gifted" or some other empty plattitude.
If a person claims to be a serious writer, praise should have a purpose above making someone feel good. If they make no claim, tell them any false accolade you desire but if you claim to be a serious writer, you need to realise that praise makes a good treat but a lousy diet.
Some people will decide this blog entry is a personal attack on them. These people are idiots.