From sadness to insanity and back

An eerie loneliness envelopes me

I feel myself being torn away from this world

Losing touch with reality

Left to stew in self pity and misery

I have gone beyond depression

To a place of complete bliss and melancholy

Simultaneously existing harmoniously

They give birth to bitter sweet ecstasy

I am confused

“Is this what I wanted?”

“Why is it that I feel this way?”

I desperately search myself for the answers

I’m answered with a chuckle followed by laughter

Then I ask myself one last sane question

“Is there anyone out there that understands the way I feel?”

…I have lost touch with reality…

…there is no hope for me now…

The veil over the illusion that is time is lifted

I just lapped depression

Ignorance becomes my bliss

I have become a danger to myself and others

I’m no longer able to think, let alone construct thoughts

I am liberated and restrained both at the same time

..I crash…

...I wake up.

I put away the vodka.

I shower,

Get dressed,

Have some coffee,

Grab some Tylenol,

Then I go to work.