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Aug 20, 2009
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Whore.
“The only happiness you’ll ever find, is that of the past. No matter how bad things seemed then, it’s a hell of a lot better then the present” This mirror who mocks me seems to do it all to well for my liking. I can still see tiny resemblences of the face i once knew, the face that was able to smile a smile of such sincerity. The girl in my reflection had a lust for life that’s seemed to slip right through my fingers. I hate that fucking mirror. 1991I woke up to the sound of my mother shouting at me to get my ‘sweet buns’ down here for breakfast. I shoved my head under my pillow and tried to drown out her bellowing voice while i counted down. 5 4 3 2 1 “Maddie, come on now you know how long you take to get ready each morning, your mother cooks your breakfast so early because she knows you’ll rush out this door and not eat a crumb the entire day, so be a sweet heart, and get the hell up!” Right on cue. “okay, okay dad. Sheesh don’t pop a vein or anything”. I tumbled out of bed and crawled over to my fluffy white robe, i quickly threw that on and bumbled my way down to the kitchen. “Morning mom” i grumbled as i sat down at the dining table. “Morning sweetheart, anything big going on at school today?” Big like Mrs.Stevensons ass. I smothered my laughter at that thought and quickly replied before she got nosey.“No mom, just the usual. What about you?”she was serving me pancakes and strawberries while gushing about her daily events, i was getting better at drowning out her insecent chatter in the mornings.She left me in peace and i was able to scoff down my breakfast without having to think.We lived in a beautiful home, from the outside it loured many envious eyes. A large double story home built with white stones and and blue shutters, a perfectly kept lawn and a fountain smack dab in the middle. Our lounge had a very warm feel to it, a big dark leather sofa with a cushy white rug, matles full of family photos and adorable knicknaks, lamps with a golden glow that would invite any visitor to bask in their warmth, and a whole lot of other crap. I don’t really have much modesty when it comes to that, if i said otherwise, i’d be a liar.After i finished craming down my breafast, i ran upstairs to begin my beauty regime. I sat on a my little pink chair infront of my large vainity filled to the brim with powders and perfumes and everything movie stars use.I was what many would call a beauty. (Yet again no modesty when it comes to things so obvious). I had long blonde hair that ran halfway down my back with golden highlights, cornflour blue eyes, a perfect nose and lips that were so full and lucious boys dreamed of stealing kisses from them. My figure matched my face, except it had a whole lot of sex appeal. I had a larger bust then the other girls my age, a small waist and legs that seemed to go on forever. In a set of heels i’d be a heartbreaker. Every morning i spend a good hour and a half making sure that i’ll still be the most beautiful girl at schoool when i rock up there each morning. Mom always tells me that my looks won’t last forever, so that’s why i’m working on preserving them now.I threw on a pair of tight blue straight leg jeans, a black singlet and a pair of my favourite flats, and ran down the stairs so i wouldn’t keep Lisa waiting.I threw myself into the passenger seat of her silver commodore and gave her my most winning smile.“heya Lisa, how’s your morning been?” she looked me over and gave my outfit a look of approval. “Yeah, you know, same old same old. Mum was bitching about something or other, and dad was out the door before i even woke up. But i guess that was for the better, saves me having to listen to him ramble on about all my responsibilities now that i can drive.” We both laughed and droned on for a while about our families annoying habbits, untill Lisa got all excited over some gossip she’d over heard. “Oh god, i completely forgot to tell you. You will never guess what i heard Sean say to Tom yesterday!” Sean and Tom were part of the ‘cool’ group of boys at our school, it was our duty as the ‘cool’ girl group to attened parties and group gatherings of theirs, but we all got along.. in that secretive two faced kind of way.“Well come on spit out, or are you going to hold out on me for another day?” I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at her to quicken her response. “Okay, well. They were talking about us, and Sean said that Clark likes you, and wants to ask you out. Tom seemed a bit dissapointed. But who the hell cares about Tom, when CLARK HARRISON likes you?!”My heart did a few flips inside my chest and i felt like i was falling, that lying little bitch! I think she might of heard that thought, i was glaring at her.“No really Maddie, i swear it! I wouldn’t do anything nasty like last time, and besides we were arguing then, we’re not now.”A few months ago Lisa had told me that a boy named Seth who i had the biggest crush on, wanted to take me out but was to afraid that i’d reject him, so he was hoping i’d do the asking. So i did. It turns out Seth never liked me and had a girlfriend at another school, Lisa just wanted to fuck me around. And i wasn’t exactly sure if she was doing it again or not.“Lisa, if i found out this is another little prank of yours, i swear i’ll –“She cut me off. “If i’m lying you can do what ever the hell you want, brake my nose, pull my pants down in the cafeteria. Whatever. I’m not lying”.Okay now i believed her, i was bouncing up and down my seat and we were both squealing like the school girls we were.“Oh my god, what should do? Should i say something? Should i drop a pen in front of him? What? What?”I was so excited, Clark harrison was a heart throb, and out the leauge of any girl at our school, apparently not mine though. I flattered myself for a moment longer, before i had to get back to the plan.“I think dropping the pen in front of him might do the trick, you have a great rack and tight ass, so no matter which end he gets a looks at, he’ll be drooling.” So that was the plan. In third period English, i wal by him, drop my pen and ever so seductively lean over and pick it up, add a bit of eye contact, and that should do the trick.The few hours before English seemed to fly by, i was so nervous, but at the same time bursting at the seams with excitement.
I was fully intending on arriving a few minutes late, so i could be sure that everyone including Clark would be seated. As soon as i walked in the door Mr.Herald starting yelling about the importance of punctuality.“Miss. Ford! You are fifteen minutes late, and in you barge as though you own the place. Where is your late slip? Where is your homework, and most importantly, where are your manners?!” His grey and brown moustache was quivering as he yelled, and i could hear his nose whistling at the force of which he was breathing. I cringed. “I’m sorry sir. I was helping one of the new students find her next class, and i lost track of time.” He looked me over with great suspision before he sighed deeply. “ListenMaddie. I’m not going to ask you who the new student was or whichclass you helped her find, It will only lead to greater dissapointment,and a whole lot more effort on my behalf, trying to think up newways for punishment. Now take a seat before i reconsider!” I almost completely forgot the plan after being publicly humiliated by that troll. But almost was the key word.I dropped the pen succsesfully, but as i was leaning over to pick it up, i dropped everything else i was holding. My workbooks, and pencil case fell with a loud thump right infront of Clark. I wanted to fall through the floor.Clark quickly got up, giggled at me, and then assisted me in picking up all my stuff. “Not your day today is it Maddie?” Oh for the love of Christ! Those eyes were going to make me pass out. “No, not really.” I was blushing and was struggling to meet his gaze. “Here you go butterfingers” he gave me one last charming smile before he got up to take his seat again. “Thanks.” I whispered that so low, i’d be surprised if he even saw my lips move. I felt like such an idiot.That English class was the most horrible part of my week. I felt eyes burning on the back of my head. And could of died from embarressment.As soon as the bell rang i darted out of the door, before i humiliated myself further. The next day started out the same as any other day, the only difference was, i did not want to get up! “Morning Lisa.” My head was hung in shame. “Hey Maddie, look i’m not going to beat around the bush. I heard. And you know what, who cares? You probably looked all adorable, you would have had the damsal in distress act down.” Her soft smile showed some compassion and sincererity, she looked like she ment it. “Yeah maybe, I don’t really want to talk about it, i feel like such a loser.”We spent the rest of the car ride in silence.At recess Lisa had some work to catch up on, and i didn’t really feel like sitting with the other girls, i knew i’d cop a lot of sly remarks, and was not in the mood to have any more of my ego shattered.I sat alone, at a far end table. My tuna and lettuce sandwhich didn’t look all to appealing. I was gorging myself of the slice of mud cake i’d bought to comfort myself. When a familiar male voice said my name “Heya Maddie, looks like you sure are doing a number on that cake.”Just my luck, when my face is covered in goop which looks like dog shit, Clark has to say hi. I wiped my face and swallowed hard before i responded. “Oh, hi Clark. Whats up?” i knew damn well what was up, he wanted to stretch out my humiliation a llittle futher.“Nothing extraordinary, i was just wondering if i could sit with you? I don’t really feel like talking to a bunch of meat heads today any way.” I considered this for a moment, and then mentally slapped myself for seeming insolent. “Yeah sure no problem” I smiled a toothy grin. He was laughing at me. Yet again an idiot. “Maddie, i think you should know one of your teeth is missing.” What a prick. “You know Clark, i wouldn’t have expected this from you, what the hell is your problem?” “Maddie you don’t understand, you have dark chocolate over one of your teeth, i was trying to make a joke out of it so you wouldn’t be embarressed.” I wasn’t embarresed, oh no. I was mortified. I ran my tounge over my teeth and apologized quickly. “Oh, thanks, and sorry for snapping at you.” “don’t worry about it.” He took a seat next to me and started eating his french fries while smiling at me.I learnt so much about him in that hour, and i was so surprised. I thought Clark was great before i spoke to him. Now i was head over heels for this guy.He loved music, and reading, and wasn’t an asshole like the other guys. He was perfect.I floated through the rest of my classes with out a care in the world, and as soon as school was over i skipped over to lisa.“Lisa an angel walks among us here.” She looked at my with puzzlment screwing up her face. “What are you on about Maddie?” I gushed forth my words with such excitement. “I spent the luch hour with Clark, and he is amazing, he is so much more then i expected Lisa! He is a God!” she giggled and told me she had heard. “ Well has he asked you out yet?” Lisa always knew all the gossip before i could tell her, it was so not fair. “No, not yet, but he said he wanted to eat lunch with me again tomorrow, you won’t mind will you Lisa?” i was batting my eyelashes and pouting at her. “Go ahead, i can manage a lunch or two with our air headed friends, just remember, hook, line, sinker.” I stayed up all night thinking of different conversation starters, and possibles outfits for my lunch date.Even i thought i was being ridiculous, staring at myself in the mirror for hours, but i just couldn’t help it. I wanted everything to be perfect. I decided i would wear a black short skirt with a loose fitting rock band singlet and a leather jacket. Clark loved heavy metal music, and i so wanted to impress him, so i was dressing soley for that purpose.The next morning started pretty much the same as any other morning.3 2 1 “Madison Ford! If I have to listen to your mother bellow up those stairs one more darn time, your guna cop an ear full off of me, you hear me girl, one more time, I’m warning you!” Once wrapped in the comfort of my white robe I went down stairs and plopped my self into the dining room chair. “Maddie, look, I don’t expect to have to beg you to come down here and eat what I cook for you. You don’t do your chores, you wear far too much make up, and every Sunday it’s a hassle to get you to go to church! You know how important religion is to this family, and yet you seem so dead set against it.”Mom was fairly annoyed at this point, I did feel bad, I mean she goes to such an effort to make our home clean and have breakfast on the table for me each morning,but I was just so tired from thinking about Clark last night.“Mom I’m sorry, I was up all last night finishing up an assignment that’s due today, I don’t wear all that much make up, the house is already clean when I’m home from school, and church is such a bore. I’m young, I want to go out on Sundays, not spend the day cooped up in some dreary church listening to some fruit loop drone on and on about the same crap every week, I get it already, we’re all going to hell!”As soon as those words were out of my mouth I regretted them instantly.Her mouth fell agape and she looked as though she’d explode.“How dare you! The reverend is NOT a fruit loop, what he preaches is gold, and you have a lot to learn about the well being of you sole you little idiot! If you don’t fix your act up, I’ll be dragging you to the daily cerements every darn day of the week you hear me! You had better be ready with bells on this Sunday, or I swear to you, I’ll flush your social life down the drain you little brat!”She slammed the plate of eggs down in front of me with such force was surprised it didn’t shatter in my face. She had stormed out of the room before I’d started breathing again.It was a rare occasion that mom blew up like that, but when ever she did, it usually was about the Lord, either I’d accidentally taken his name in vain, or I’d complained about church. My faith was dwindling. And if I have to attend church every day, I think I’d hate ‘our savior’. I went upstairs and styled my hair in loose curls, I threw on my planned outfit, and a pair of boots. I was very satisfied with my appearance this morning, and I was praying Clark would be too. I heard Lisa toot her horn, and took one last glance before I ran out the door, hoping to avoid mom. “What do you think? You reckon Clark will like it?” I turned slightly in my seat so she could judge my outfit. “Wow Maddie, you’ve really out done yourself today, I think he’ll love it!” she had an awed look on her face which pleased me immensely. “Great, I sure hope so, I barely slept a wink last night. I hope he’s worth it.” I sat down at that same lonesome table at the far end of the cafeteria, fluffed my hair and waited for Clark to show up.I spotted him walking towards ‘our’ table and was blown away. He was so perfect, he had the face of a greek god, perfect facial features, dirty blonde hair, hazle green eyes, and a body that seemed to be chizzled out of marble. Not to mention his great height and broad shoulders.I smiled warmly at him as he approched and he threw a wink my way. “Hey Mads” oh god, he had made me a nickname already. I was squealing inside, but totally cool on the outside. “Hey Clark, How’s your morining been?” i had a smile glued on my face, i couldn’t help it. “Pretty boring, had science and math, so i zoned out for a while. I could barely wait to see you again Maddie.” He lowered his eyes, and wore a slight smile. “Tell me about it, this is going to sound so silly, but i didn’t sleep at all last night i was so nervous. You’re probably going to think i’m such a stalker for telling you that, but you have some weird power over me, i have to tell you the truth.”His grin widened at that before he looked at my shirt and continued.
“Ha, i know exactly what you mean, i was going over different conversations, i don’t want to bore you or anything, and i think i’d be crushed if you lost intrest in me.” “Clark. Is this some sort of a joke or something, i mean why do you like me? Of all people me? If this is some mean prank, please. Just walk away.” I was sad now, this seemed all to good to be true, and when things seemed that way, they ussually were. “Maddie, this is not some sick joke. I like you because you are so much more then you seem. I don’t want to seem like a jerk or anything. But i think that you act like the other girls to fit in. And it’s so not you, Your beautiful and unique, and so so intelligent. I think your amazing. All the other girls are fake and mean. But not you Mads, not you. That’s why i like you.” Wow. What a sweetheart. I was gobsmacked. I thought the exact same about him. I could not believe this was happening! I blushed deeply and all i could say was “I like you to Clark.”After that our conversation went on as usual, i was learning so much more about him, and it seemed every word he uttered i fell more and more in love with him. The next week we spent every lunch together, and it was now Clark who picked me up for school. That morning he leaned over and gave me a kiss before i’d said so much as ‘hello’. “Wow, that was a nice surprise, good morning to you too”. “ Mad’s i wanted to wait at least a month before this, but i can’t wait anymore, I’m too afraid some other guy will snatch you up right before my eyes. I want you to be my girlfriend. What do you say?” i was shocked and so very very happy, i blurted out “Yes, yes, yes Clark, i’d love to, Ohhh i’m so happy, i must look like an idiot.” He wore a broad smile and was laughing at my enthusiasm. He pulled the car over, and drew me in for our fist kiss.He had one warm and cupping my face and the other on the small of my back. He tasted so sweet, like tooth paste and cinnimon. A bolt of electricity surged threw me when our tounges touched.The kiss was just as perfect as i’d expected and he left me breathless when he pulled away. “Wow. You taste good” he said. I giggled “You too. I think i’ll be in the clouds for the rest of the day, if i get a detention for day dreaming in class, I’ll hold you fully responsible Clark Harrison!” I smiled at me, and told me that the same would go for him “I’ve never felt this way for any girl before you Mads, I’m still not sure if i’m dreaming or not. So help me god if i am, don’t you dare wake me.” I smiled at him and rested my hand on his thigh. Another blissful week rolled by, and our budding relationship progressed so fast, i thought i’d be knocked of my feet.We were the talk of the school, all eyes were on us, and envious girls would smile their fake smiles whenever i interupted their conversations about me.We were inseprable. He picked me up each morning, and drove me home each night. He spoke to me on the phone for at least an hour each night before bed, and every clas we had together, we’d share notes and longing glances at eachother. In English two weeks after we became an item, we were sitting together. I was half way through writing a scentence when his hand fell on my thigh.Instantly i grew warm.He groped the inside of my thigh and trailed up and down with his fingers, when i looked up at him, he held his forefinger to his lips to silence me. That was enough, for i didn’t really want him to stop any way.His hand was slowly moving further and further up my thigh.I was aching for him, i would have torn off my clothes then and there if it weren’t for the teacher and students.What a tease, I could feel my underwear getting damp, and my face was flushed a deep red.I was so thankful when the bell rang and he removed his hand. I was goingto explode. “Clark what the hell were you doing? Do you have any idea what wouldhave happened if Mr. Herald had seen us? Oh god, and if my parents ever found out i’d-” I was slowly working myself into a panic, at the time, none of that had mattered all that was important was the burning sensation screaming ‘more, more, MORE!’ he silenced me with a kiss “Stress less babe, no one saw, so it’s no biggie. You liked it didn’t you” he wore an impish grin, he knew i didn’t like it, i loved it. I looked down and shuffled my feet. “Yeah i spose so.” “Well i’ll have to keep it up then.” He pulled me in for one last kiss, before he had to run off to gym class. Clark kept me up again that night. Not because i was nervous, but because i had all these different scenarios playing out in my head, of what could of happened if we were able to go further. I was 17 and mom said that only little whore’s touched themselves at night, and although she couldn’t see me do it, god would, and he would punish me on his own accord.That thought threw water of the burning flames of lust. For now i had a different kind of fire in mind. The screaming flames of hell. Today was Saturday. Mom did not bellow up the stairs, and dad didn’t throw empty threats at me a few seconds after. No, today was my day to do with what i wanted.Sean and Tom, had invited a few of our friends to a beach party this evening at around six, of course me and Clark would be going together, Lisa didn’t need bother asking me if i had a lift in the morning, she knew she’d lost rank. But for some reason, it didn’t really bother her. I think she’s okay with it, because the more time i’m with Clark, the more time she has to cosy up to Sean. It was a fairly warm day today, but i doubted it would be warm enough to swim tonight. Ah screw it, i’ll bring my two piece just in case. I tied my hair in a loose bun, wore a red t-shirt that was two sizes too small, and a pair of denim short shorts.I ran out the front door, and threw myself into Clarks car. “You look hot Mads, i love the shorts” his eyes were slowing drinking me in, and every second that passed his grin widened. “Thanks, I just threw it on, didn’t want to wear anything fancy that would get ruined, but i’m glad you like it.” “Honestly, i think you’d look stunning in a potatoe sack. I sure as hell am a lucky guy.” It was going to take us around an hour to get there, so we turned on the radio to keep ourselves entertained. “Hey, do i make you happy?” i said, i don’t know what caused me to ask him that, but i guess i didn’t really know. “Of course you do. Me and you Mads, we can do anything, were like a power couple. And every day that you greet me with kisses and praise, i feel more and more for you.” That eased my worries a bit, and i continued to bop along to the music, before he looked over at me with a worried expression, “Why don’t i make you happy.” Oh no, i’d given him the wrong idea and he looked so hurt. “Oh baby, of course you do, i didn’t mean anything by asking, it was a silly question, i’d just i wanted to know if there was anything else i could do to make you more happy?” relief and then an idea washed across his face. “Well you know what would make me really happy?” he didn’t wait for me to guess.“ If when i touch you, you wouldn’t pull away and utter some crap about eternal damnation. It’s a bit weird, and i worry that your mom is spoiling you. Don’t listen to her, she’s a bored old houswife with nothing better to do then scare the crap out of her family with stories about hell. Me and you, were special, and one day i’d like to show you how special you are.” Whore. That’s what she would think of me if she’d heard even a piece of that conversation. She was wrong. All teenagers should be able to feel love, and most of them do. If either one of us were a whore, it was her. A whore to her god. When we got to the beach the sun was just about to set, it cast a beautiful purple and pink veil across the sky. The waves were illuminated in a reflection of the beautiful colours. It was going to be a beautiful evening. The boys were setting up a Bon fire, and Clark looked at them longingly, “Clark, aren’t you going to go help? Go on, i can see you want to, i’ll go catch up with the girls.” He started running off while calling back to me “Thanks Mads, those stooges are doing it all wrong.” I laughed and walked off.Lisa was waving at me from a blanket the girls were all sitting on “Maddie! I’ve missed you, lets go for a stroll.” She ran over to meet me half way, and threw her arms around my neck.“How have you been? i feel like i haven’t spoken to you for days.” Truth was, i’d spoken to her breifly yesterday, but i wasn’t about to point that out, i missed her too. “I know how you feel, I’ve missed our girly chats, and late night gossip sessions. Your like a sister to me Lisa, you know that.” She linked our arms and started making up for lost time. “Yeah Maddie, i know, i love you like you were my sister too.” She looked up from the sand and smiled at me. “So how are things with you and Sean, is it my mistake, or are there sparks flying all over the place?” she laughed and spun on her heel so she’d be facing me front on. “ You’re definatley right about the sparks. I was worried that it might of just been one sided, but tonight we were the first to arrive, and he kissed me! He said i was really special, and he wanted to take things slowly with me, he doesn’t want to mess anything up.” The soft glow of the fading sun complimented her greatly, she looked beautiful, Sean was a lucky man. “Oh Lisa that’s fantastic, we can double date now. This is so brilliant! I’m truly happy for you, i hope everything works out great.” We chatted on about all the latest gossip, and shared all our newly aquired secrets. It was great, i never realised how much i needed Lisa, untill she slipped into the back ground.But all that was okay now. We would be double dating. We fantasised about Clark and Sean becoming the best of friends, and all of us getting married, and then making our children get married so then we’d be in laws. It was silly, but oh so fun. I looked back, and the Bon fire was a blazing success, it was pretty dark now, and we were both thankful for the fire to act as a guide, so we could find our way back.Soon enough we were basking in the warmth of the fire, and cracking open the Budwiser. Tonight was proving to be a fantastic way to spend a Saturday.After a few drinks everyones was laughing and singing, we had a portable radio so there was music blasting.People were dancing, and Lisa was cuddled up with Sean looking wistfully into his eyes.Clark was near me the entire night, we were having a great time.He pulled me closer and yelled into my ear “Mads lets go for a walk, i want to spend some time with you alone.” I’d been waiting for him to say that all night, I would have asked myself, but i didn’t want to take him away from his friends.He tugged me along in the opposite direction me and Lisa had taken before.“You’re so beautiful. Watching you dance in the fire was one of the most amazing things i’ve ever seen. Your loose golden waves brushing across your face as you swayed to the music, was so sexy.”My hair had come undone at one point or another during the night. I was hot and giddy from the alchol and excitement of the evening. I laughed at his admiration “I didn’t know you were watching me the entire night.” I looked up at him and stroked his cheek. “How could i ever take my eyes off of such a beauty as you Maddie?” I pulled off my shirt and shorts, and was standing in my bikini, “lets go for a swim Clark, i’m hot, and feel like getting my feet wet.”In no time at all he was staning there in his shorts.We ran into the soft waves laughing and screaming at the cold shock of the water. Our bodies soon adjusted and he was holding me. His kiss was soft at first and then turned lustful. “Maddie, I think i love you.”He was looking into my eyes with such adoration, the moonlight splashed of the water and cast a white glow across both our bodies. I already knew i loved Clark. I hadn’t told him, i didn’t want to scare him away, and now i was thankful, for this seemed a lot more of a romatic setting then his car.“I love you too Clark. I locked myself up a long time ago, and somehow you have the key.” He didn’t smile, or do anything to signify that he was not serious. “I don’t ever want another girl. You’re the one for me Mads, i can feel it.”He tilted his head, and i raised mine, so our lips could meet. We held eachother and lost ourselves in our soft kiss. If i died at this moment, i’d be happy. There was no where else i’d rather have been. He was my everything.We had completely lost track of time, and when we followed the flame back to our friends, Tom shouted out “Hey guys it’s okay, they’re back”.He looked at Clark with anger burning in his eyes. “What the hell man? You run off for two hours, and tell no one where you’ve gone. We have been searching for you two! Next time you and your whore decided to go fuck on the sand, tell some one, so you don’t ruin our night over a root.” I was shocked. Tom was one of my friends! how dare he say that about me. I marched up to him and laid a hard slap across the side of his face. “Don’t you ever call me that again you disgusting pig! Or so help e i’ll cut your balls off!” Tom pushed me to ground, and the sand scraped across my thighs. Clark pulled me up, and then went over to Tom, He closed his fist and punched Tom in jaw, Tom went reeling to the ground. “You son of a bitch, if i ever see you touch my girl, or any other for that matter i’ll brake your nose, that’s a promise! Your pathectic. Is she a whore only because you couldn’t get her Tom. Go home loser!” Clark took my hand and walked me to the car. I looked back “You fucking loser” Tom made the mistake of calling out “Shut the fuck up whore!”Clark let my hand fall to my side, and with in a second Tom’s nose was broken, and he lay screaming in agony laying on the sand.Everyone was standing around watching. No one dared say a word.
TO BE CONTINUED!
I was fully intending on arriving a few minutes late, so i could be sure that everyone including Clark would be seated. As soon as i walked in the door Mr.Herald starting yelling about the importance of punctuality.“Miss. Ford! You are fifteen minutes late, and in you barge as though you own the place. Where is your late slip? Where is your homework, and most importantly, where are your manners?!” His grey and brown moustache was quivering as he yelled, and i could hear his nose whistling at the force of which he was breathing. I cringed. “I’m sorry sir. I was helping one of the new students find her next class, and i lost track of time.” He looked me over with great suspision before he sighed deeply. “ListenMaddie. I’m not going to ask you who the new student was or whichclass you helped her find, It will only lead to greater dissapointment,and a whole lot more effort on my behalf, trying to think up newways for punishment. Now take a seat before i reconsider!” I almost completely forgot the plan after being publicly humiliated by that troll. But almost was the key word.I dropped the pen succsesfully, but as i was leaning over to pick it up, i dropped everything else i was holding. My workbooks, and pencil case fell with a loud thump right infront of Clark. I wanted to fall through the floor.Clark quickly got up, giggled at me, and then assisted me in picking up all my stuff. “Not your day today is it Maddie?” Oh for the love of Christ! Those eyes were going to make me pass out. “No, not really.” I was blushing and was struggling to meet his gaze. “Here you go butterfingers” he gave me one last charming smile before he got up to take his seat again. “Thanks.” I whispered that so low, i’d be surprised if he even saw my lips move. I felt like such an idiot.That English class was the most horrible part of my week. I felt eyes burning on the back of my head. And could of died from embarressment.As soon as the bell rang i darted out of the door, before i humiliated myself further. The next day started out the same as any other day, the only difference was, i did not want to get up! “Morning Lisa.” My head was hung in shame. “Hey Maddie, look i’m not going to beat around the bush. I heard. And you know what, who cares? You probably looked all adorable, you would have had the damsal in distress act down.” Her soft smile showed some compassion and sincererity, she looked like she ment it. “Yeah maybe, I don’t really want to talk about it, i feel like such a loser.”We spent the rest of the car ride in silence.At recess Lisa had some work to catch up on, and i didn’t really feel like sitting with the other girls, i knew i’d cop a lot of sly remarks, and was not in the mood to have any more of my ego shattered.I sat alone, at a far end table. My tuna and lettuce sandwhich didn’t look all to appealing. I was gorging myself of the slice of mud cake i’d bought to comfort myself. When a familiar male voice said my name “Heya Maddie, looks like you sure are doing a number on that cake.”Just my luck, when my face is covered in goop which looks like dog shit, Clark has to say hi. I wiped my face and swallowed hard before i responded. “Oh, hi Clark. Whats up?” i knew damn well what was up, he wanted to stretch out my humiliation a llittle futher.“Nothing extraordinary, i was just wondering if i could sit with you? I don’t really feel like talking to a bunch of meat heads today any way.” I considered this for a moment, and then mentally slapped myself for seeming insolent. “Yeah sure no problem” I smiled a toothy grin. He was laughing at me. Yet again an idiot. “Maddie, i think you should know one of your teeth is missing.” What a prick. “You know Clark, i wouldn’t have expected this from you, what the hell is your problem?” “Maddie you don’t understand, you have dark chocolate over one of your teeth, i was trying to make a joke out of it so you wouldn’t be embarressed.” I wasn’t embarresed, oh no. I was mortified. I ran my tounge over my teeth and apologized quickly. “Oh, thanks, and sorry for snapping at you.” “don’t worry about it.” He took a seat next to me and started eating his french fries while smiling at me.I learnt so much about him in that hour, and i was so surprised. I thought Clark was great before i spoke to him. Now i was head over heels for this guy.He loved music, and reading, and wasn’t an asshole like the other guys. He was perfect.I floated through the rest of my classes with out a care in the world, and as soon as school was over i skipped over to lisa.“Lisa an angel walks among us here.” She looked at my with puzzlment screwing up her face. “What are you on about Maddie?” I gushed forth my words with such excitement. “I spent the luch hour with Clark, and he is amazing, he is so much more then i expected Lisa! He is a God!” she giggled and told me she had heard. “ Well has he asked you out yet?” Lisa always knew all the gossip before i could tell her, it was so not fair. “No, not yet, but he said he wanted to eat lunch with me again tomorrow, you won’t mind will you Lisa?” i was batting my eyelashes and pouting at her. “Go ahead, i can manage a lunch or two with our air headed friends, just remember, hook, line, sinker.” I stayed up all night thinking of different conversation starters, and possibles outfits for my lunch date.Even i thought i was being ridiculous, staring at myself in the mirror for hours, but i just couldn’t help it. I wanted everything to be perfect. I decided i would wear a black short skirt with a loose fitting rock band singlet and a leather jacket. Clark loved heavy metal music, and i so wanted to impress him, so i was dressing soley for that purpose.The next morning started pretty much the same as any other morning.3 2 1 “Madison Ford! If I have to listen to your mother bellow up those stairs one more darn time, your guna cop an ear full off of me, you hear me girl, one more time, I’m warning you!” Once wrapped in the comfort of my white robe I went down stairs and plopped my self into the dining room chair. “Maddie, look, I don’t expect to have to beg you to come down here and eat what I cook for you. You don’t do your chores, you wear far too much make up, and every Sunday it’s a hassle to get you to go to church! You know how important religion is to this family, and yet you seem so dead set against it.”Mom was fairly annoyed at this point, I did feel bad, I mean she goes to such an effort to make our home clean and have breakfast on the table for me each morning,but I was just so tired from thinking about Clark last night.“Mom I’m sorry, I was up all last night finishing up an assignment that’s due today, I don’t wear all that much make up, the house is already clean when I’m home from school, and church is such a bore. I’m young, I want to go out on Sundays, not spend the day cooped up in some dreary church listening to some fruit loop drone on and on about the same crap every week, I get it already, we’re all going to hell!”As soon as those words were out of my mouth I regretted them instantly.Her mouth fell agape and she looked as though she’d explode.“How dare you! The reverend is NOT a fruit loop, what he preaches is gold, and you have a lot to learn about the well being of you sole you little idiot! If you don’t fix your act up, I’ll be dragging you to the daily cerements every darn day of the week you hear me! You had better be ready with bells on this Sunday, or I swear to you, I’ll flush your social life down the drain you little brat!”She slammed the plate of eggs down in front of me with such force was surprised it didn’t shatter in my face. She had stormed out of the room before I’d started breathing again.It was a rare occasion that mom blew up like that, but when ever she did, it usually was about the Lord, either I’d accidentally taken his name in vain, or I’d complained about church. My faith was dwindling. And if I have to attend church every day, I think I’d hate ‘our savior’. I went upstairs and styled my hair in loose curls, I threw on my planned outfit, and a pair of boots. I was very satisfied with my appearance this morning, and I was praying Clark would be too. I heard Lisa toot her horn, and took one last glance before I ran out the door, hoping to avoid mom. “What do you think? You reckon Clark will like it?” I turned slightly in my seat so she could judge my outfit. “Wow Maddie, you’ve really out done yourself today, I think he’ll love it!” she had an awed look on her face which pleased me immensely. “Great, I sure hope so, I barely slept a wink last night. I hope he’s worth it.” I sat down at that same lonesome table at the far end of the cafeteria, fluffed my hair and waited for Clark to show up.I spotted him walking towards ‘our’ table and was blown away. He was so perfect, he had the face of a greek god, perfect facial features, dirty blonde hair, hazle green eyes, and a body that seemed to be chizzled out of marble. Not to mention his great height and broad shoulders.I smiled warmly at him as he approched and he threw a wink my way. “Hey Mads” oh god, he had made me a nickname already. I was squealing inside, but totally cool on the outside. “Hey Clark, How’s your morining been?” i had a smile glued on my face, i couldn’t help it. “Pretty boring, had science and math, so i zoned out for a while. I could barely wait to see you again Maddie.” He lowered his eyes, and wore a slight smile. “Tell me about it, this is going to sound so silly, but i didn’t sleep at all last night i was so nervous. You’re probably going to think i’m such a stalker for telling you that, but you have some weird power over me, i have to tell you the truth.”His grin widened at that before he looked at my shirt and continued.
“Ha, i know exactly what you mean, i was going over different conversations, i don’t want to bore you or anything, and i think i’d be crushed if you lost intrest in me.” “Clark. Is this some sort of a joke or something, i mean why do you like me? Of all people me? If this is some mean prank, please. Just walk away.” I was sad now, this seemed all to good to be true, and when things seemed that way, they ussually were. “Maddie, this is not some sick joke. I like you because you are so much more then you seem. I don’t want to seem like a jerk or anything. But i think that you act like the other girls to fit in. And it’s so not you, Your beautiful and unique, and so so intelligent. I think your amazing. All the other girls are fake and mean. But not you Mads, not you. That’s why i like you.” Wow. What a sweetheart. I was gobsmacked. I thought the exact same about him. I could not believe this was happening! I blushed deeply and all i could say was “I like you to Clark.”After that our conversation went on as usual, i was learning so much more about him, and it seemed every word he uttered i fell more and more in love with him. The next week we spent every lunch together, and it was now Clark who picked me up for school. That morning he leaned over and gave me a kiss before i’d said so much as ‘hello’. “Wow, that was a nice surprise, good morning to you too”. “ Mad’s i wanted to wait at least a month before this, but i can’t wait anymore, I’m too afraid some other guy will snatch you up right before my eyes. I want you to be my girlfriend. What do you say?” i was shocked and so very very happy, i blurted out “Yes, yes, yes Clark, i’d love to, Ohhh i’m so happy, i must look like an idiot.” He wore a broad smile and was laughing at my enthusiasm. He pulled the car over, and drew me in for our fist kiss.He had one warm and cupping my face and the other on the small of my back. He tasted so sweet, like tooth paste and cinnimon. A bolt of electricity surged threw me when our tounges touched.The kiss was just as perfect as i’d expected and he left me breathless when he pulled away. “Wow. You taste good” he said. I giggled “You too. I think i’ll be in the clouds for the rest of the day, if i get a detention for day dreaming in class, I’ll hold you fully responsible Clark Harrison!” I smiled at me, and told me that the same would go for him “I’ve never felt this way for any girl before you Mads, I’m still not sure if i’m dreaming or not. So help me god if i am, don’t you dare wake me.” I smiled at him and rested my hand on his thigh. Another blissful week rolled by, and our budding relationship progressed so fast, i thought i’d be knocked of my feet.We were the talk of the school, all eyes were on us, and envious girls would smile their fake smiles whenever i interupted their conversations about me.We were inseprable. He picked me up each morning, and drove me home each night. He spoke to me on the phone for at least an hour each night before bed, and every clas we had together, we’d share notes and longing glances at eachother. In English two weeks after we became an item, we were sitting together. I was half way through writing a scentence when his hand fell on my thigh.Instantly i grew warm.He groped the inside of my thigh and trailed up and down with his fingers, when i looked up at him, he held his forefinger to his lips to silence me. That was enough, for i didn’t really want him to stop any way.His hand was slowly moving further and further up my thigh.I was aching for him, i would have torn off my clothes then and there if it weren’t for the teacher and students.What a tease, I could feel my underwear getting damp, and my face was flushed a deep red.I was so thankful when the bell rang and he removed his hand. I was goingto explode. “Clark what the hell were you doing? Do you have any idea what wouldhave happened if Mr. Herald had seen us? Oh god, and if my parents ever found out i’d-” I was slowly working myself into a panic, at the time, none of that had mattered all that was important was the burning sensation screaming ‘more, more, MORE!’ he silenced me with a kiss “Stress less babe, no one saw, so it’s no biggie. You liked it didn’t you” he wore an impish grin, he knew i didn’t like it, i loved it. I looked down and shuffled my feet. “Yeah i spose so.” “Well i’ll have to keep it up then.” He pulled me in for one last kiss, before he had to run off to gym class. Clark kept me up again that night. Not because i was nervous, but because i had all these different scenarios playing out in my head, of what could of happened if we were able to go further. I was 17 and mom said that only little whore’s touched themselves at night, and although she couldn’t see me do it, god would, and he would punish me on his own accord.That thought threw water of the burning flames of lust. For now i had a different kind of fire in mind. The screaming flames of hell. Today was Saturday. Mom did not bellow up the stairs, and dad didn’t throw empty threats at me a few seconds after. No, today was my day to do with what i wanted.Sean and Tom, had invited a few of our friends to a beach party this evening at around six, of course me and Clark would be going together, Lisa didn’t need bother asking me if i had a lift in the morning, she knew she’d lost rank. But for some reason, it didn’t really bother her. I think she’s okay with it, because the more time i’m with Clark, the more time she has to cosy up to Sean. It was a fairly warm day today, but i doubted it would be warm enough to swim tonight. Ah screw it, i’ll bring my two piece just in case. I tied my hair in a loose bun, wore a red t-shirt that was two sizes too small, and a pair of denim short shorts.I ran out the front door, and threw myself into Clarks car. “You look hot Mads, i love the shorts” his eyes were slowing drinking me in, and every second that passed his grin widened. “Thanks, I just threw it on, didn’t want to wear anything fancy that would get ruined, but i’m glad you like it.” “Honestly, i think you’d look stunning in a potatoe sack. I sure as hell am a lucky guy.” It was going to take us around an hour to get there, so we turned on the radio to keep ourselves entertained. “Hey, do i make you happy?” i said, i don’t know what caused me to ask him that, but i guess i didn’t really know. “Of course you do. Me and you Mads, we can do anything, were like a power couple. And every day that you greet me with kisses and praise, i feel more and more for you.” That eased my worries a bit, and i continued to bop along to the music, before he looked over at me with a worried expression, “Why don’t i make you happy.” Oh no, i’d given him the wrong idea and he looked so hurt. “Oh baby, of course you do, i didn’t mean anything by asking, it was a silly question, i’d just i wanted to know if there was anything else i could do to make you more happy?” relief and then an idea washed across his face. “Well you know what would make me really happy?” he didn’t wait for me to guess.“ If when i touch you, you wouldn’t pull away and utter some crap about eternal damnation. It’s a bit weird, and i worry that your mom is spoiling you. Don’t listen to her, she’s a bored old houswife with nothing better to do then scare the crap out of her family with stories about hell. Me and you, were special, and one day i’d like to show you how special you are.” Whore. That’s what she would think of me if she’d heard even a piece of that conversation. She was wrong. All teenagers should be able to feel love, and most of them do. If either one of us were a whore, it was her. A whore to her god. When we got to the beach the sun was just about to set, it cast a beautiful purple and pink veil across the sky. The waves were illuminated in a reflection of the beautiful colours. It was going to be a beautiful evening. The boys were setting up a Bon fire, and Clark looked at them longingly, “Clark, aren’t you going to go help? Go on, i can see you want to, i’ll go catch up with the girls.” He started running off while calling back to me “Thanks Mads, those stooges are doing it all wrong.” I laughed and walked off.Lisa was waving at me from a blanket the girls were all sitting on “Maddie! I’ve missed you, lets go for a stroll.” She ran over to meet me half way, and threw her arms around my neck.“How have you been? i feel like i haven’t spoken to you for days.” Truth was, i’d spoken to her breifly yesterday, but i wasn’t about to point that out, i missed her too. “I know how you feel, I’ve missed our girly chats, and late night gossip sessions. Your like a sister to me Lisa, you know that.” She linked our arms and started making up for lost time. “Yeah Maddie, i know, i love you like you were my sister too.” She looked up from the sand and smiled at me. “So how are things with you and Sean, is it my mistake, or are there sparks flying all over the place?” she laughed and spun on her heel so she’d be facing me front on. “ You’re definatley right about the sparks. I was worried that it might of just been one sided, but tonight we were the first to arrive, and he kissed me! He said i was really special, and he wanted to take things slowly with me, he doesn’t want to mess anything up.” The soft glow of the fading sun complimented her greatly, she looked beautiful, Sean was a lucky man. “Oh Lisa that’s fantastic, we can double date now. This is so brilliant! I’m truly happy for you, i hope everything works out great.” We chatted on about all the latest gossip, and shared all our newly aquired secrets. It was great, i never realised how much i needed Lisa, untill she slipped into the back ground.But all that was okay now. We would be double dating. We fantasised about Clark and Sean becoming the best of friends, and all of us getting married, and then making our children get married so then we’d be in laws. It was silly, but oh so fun. I looked back, and the Bon fire was a blazing success, it was pretty dark now, and we were both thankful for the fire to act as a guide, so we could find our way back.Soon enough we were basking in the warmth of the fire, and cracking open the Budwiser. Tonight was proving to be a fantastic way to spend a Saturday.After a few drinks everyones was laughing and singing, we had a portable radio so there was music blasting.People were dancing, and Lisa was cuddled up with Sean looking wistfully into his eyes.Clark was near me the entire night, we were having a great time.He pulled me closer and yelled into my ear “Mads lets go for a walk, i want to spend some time with you alone.” I’d been waiting for him to say that all night, I would have asked myself, but i didn’t want to take him away from his friends.He tugged me along in the opposite direction me and Lisa had taken before.“You’re so beautiful. Watching you dance in the fire was one of the most amazing things i’ve ever seen. Your loose golden waves brushing across your face as you swayed to the music, was so sexy.”My hair had come undone at one point or another during the night. I was hot and giddy from the alchol and excitement of the evening. I laughed at his admiration “I didn’t know you were watching me the entire night.” I looked up at him and stroked his cheek. “How could i ever take my eyes off of such a beauty as you Maddie?” I pulled off my shirt and shorts, and was standing in my bikini, “lets go for a swim Clark, i’m hot, and feel like getting my feet wet.”In no time at all he was staning there in his shorts.We ran into the soft waves laughing and screaming at the cold shock of the water. Our bodies soon adjusted and he was holding me. His kiss was soft at first and then turned lustful. “Maddie, I think i love you.”He was looking into my eyes with such adoration, the moonlight splashed of the water and cast a white glow across both our bodies. I already knew i loved Clark. I hadn’t told him, i didn’t want to scare him away, and now i was thankful, for this seemed a lot more of a romatic setting then his car.“I love you too Clark. I locked myself up a long time ago, and somehow you have the key.” He didn’t smile, or do anything to signify that he was not serious. “I don’t ever want another girl. You’re the one for me Mads, i can feel it.”He tilted his head, and i raised mine, so our lips could meet. We held eachother and lost ourselves in our soft kiss. If i died at this moment, i’d be happy. There was no where else i’d rather have been. He was my everything.We had completely lost track of time, and when we followed the flame back to our friends, Tom shouted out “Hey guys it’s okay, they’re back”.He looked at Clark with anger burning in his eyes. “What the hell man? You run off for two hours, and tell no one where you’ve gone. We have been searching for you two! Next time you and your whore decided to go fuck on the sand, tell some one, so you don’t ruin our night over a root.” I was shocked. Tom was one of my friends! how dare he say that about me. I marched up to him and laid a hard slap across the side of his face. “Don’t you ever call me that again you disgusting pig! Or so help e i’ll cut your balls off!” Tom pushed me to ground, and the sand scraped across my thighs. Clark pulled me up, and then went over to Tom, He closed his fist and punched Tom in jaw, Tom went reeling to the ground. “You son of a bitch, if i ever see you touch my girl, or any other for that matter i’ll brake your nose, that’s a promise! Your pathectic. Is she a whore only because you couldn’t get her Tom. Go home loser!” Clark took my hand and walked me to the car. I looked back “You fucking loser” Tom made the mistake of calling out “Shut the fuck up whore!”Clark let my hand fall to my side, and with in a second Tom’s nose was broken, and he lay screaming in agony laying on the sand.Everyone was standing around watching. No one dared say a word.
TO BE CONTINUED!
— LiquidSunshine, Aug 20, 2009
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