Kicking the Cat and Other Bad Decisions Made While Angry

Firstly, this is the second time I've written this blog post.  An errant mis-click sent the last one to the ether and it took me a few days to get back to it.

Recent events have shown us more examples of "Kicking the Cat."  That's a shorthand phrase, not mine, I stole it, for actions taken at expressing anger towards a person, animal, or object that is not the actual cause of said anger.  Or, to whit, Person A makes me angry and I "turn the other cheek" or internalize it or whatever and then along comes Person/Animal/Object B and they do something minor and I erupt like a cross between a spasming sea squid and Chuck Norris and then I feel bad 1 second, minute, hour, day, month, year, etc. later and I try to make amends but it's never the same.

Well, as a rule, I don't participate in this type of behavior.  Rather, when I am annoyed or upset about something, I confront the person, that is causing the issue and I let it be know why I am upset.  Then we either come to an understanding or some sort of things get ugly and, I will freely admit, when things get ugly my goal is to make the person with whom I am interacting as angry as possible as quickly as possible.  It's not just because I find it amusing, though I will admit freely as well to that character flaw, it is because once someone is angry, bone spitting angry, many times their true motivation or complaint will surface, then I can see with what I am actually dealing and make decisions based around it.  My decision might be to egg them on, to ignore them, or to seek a resolution, depending on the circumstance and my frame of mind.

But, again, as a rule, I do not carry one argument into the next for several basic reasons.  It's too much to remember, it's more trouble than it's worth, it pisses people off, and I've learned many years ago that being able to drop an argument and deal with involved parties respectfully gives me a competitive edge in my life and career. 

Lastly, no matter what, we need to realise we are dealing with other human beings.  We can despise their actions and punish them for their choices but once that is concluded we do not need to vilify them as it really gives them power they do not deserve or warrant.  Think about it; if you decide to track someone around a site and make disparaging comments due to a real or perceived hurt in another situation, hurt that may or may not have been addressed, all you are doing is building sympathy for them and ceding them authority over your actions.

And really, where's the sense in that?  If they are villains, they will prove it without our help.

So I will refrain from kicking the cat as the cat has done nothing to me and even if it has, it's an animal and unless the animal is physically harming me or another, hitting it is a failure in judgement more than anything else.

OK, fine.  blah, blah, blah, what's the point here?

It's simple.  If you are involved in a difference of opinion with me, no worries.  If you decide to get personal and vindictive, please be prepared for the consequences.  And once it is over, I may suspect your motivation but I will give you the benefit of the doubt until you prove otherwise.