Poem - I'd Like to Just Drink, and Die

I’d Like to Just Drink, and Die After four or so beersTo startI crank up the musicI’d listen to in the ninetiesAnd get quietly plastered,Blurry vision.When I was 201979 seemed so long before,I couldn’t relate to Smashing PumpkinsBut now,Thirteen years puts perspective on things. It wasn’t just about sex back then,Though I’ve reached my limitWith the Karen’s I can hurt. Let me drink and die tonight,I’ve only one beer left,And I don’t feel like being deep,Nor philosophical. Kids ask me nowAbout poetry,And listen with wide earslike I know what I’m talking about,this of course meansthey don’t hear a word I say. If you don’t know,That represents a cycleThat I remember living;The trappings of youth,When culture mattered. I love museums and literature,But only the deadAre displayed in art galleries;Who then are displayedIn chapbooks? Let me die here, I’ve nothing left to give the world. Beer fiveAnd I feel no betterBut briefly listen to the ProclaimersAnd there’s a poppy beat in my heart for a minute. I love Christ,But am angry at Christianity.Oh please God, understand,If I’m not the typical followerDon’t send me to Hell. I listened to the right musicAs long as I could,Didn’t swear for years,And now I feel empty. No!Nail me right here,I’d like to just drink and die,And remember the good timesTheAngry homeless irresponsible timesI feel Crushed. Tomorrow will bringIts own share of problems,If I could avoid them forA few hours tonight I’d feelA touch better, maybe. When I was 18, maybe 20I didn’t care about homelessness,When I was 18, maybe 20None of that mattered. I loved a girl to death,Her name was Casey –She was maybe my earliest regret.If there were anything I could take backIt’d be my lies to her. At 2 A.M.When we were 17We promised we wereSiblings,She was adopted,And so had been my sister,An unknown girl.I made the story fit,Her night was completeAnd IWas the worst fibberIn search of a friend.Years later I admitted my dishonestyHaven’t heard from her since andI can’t say I blame her.Please, let me die right here. So if the muslimIf the CatholicIf the atheistIf the abortionist budhist hindu,If the homosexual if the JewIf the liberal if anyoneHas no chance at redemption,Where the hell do I stand? One more drink, please.I’ll finish listeningTo Ghost, by ErasureAppropriately.