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in either case

she believes
things r
or r not
how they r
supposed 2 b
he believes
things just r

he believes
if how things r
supposed 2 b
includes not being with
or even hearing from
her
then how things r
supposed 2 b
sux 4 real

4 that matter
if as he believes
its just how things r
well it still
sux 4 real

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Country/Region: USA

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Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

17 years 12 months ago

Alright, who are you, and

Alright, who are you, and what did you do with the real Rob Graber? lol! No offense intended to you, dear Rob, but I despise text talk in poetry. Always, Cat
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 12 months ago

Sorry, Rob...

I have to agree with Cat. There's a time and place for text-msg..... on the mobile. Replace them with the proper words, and tighten it up a little, and this'll be good. ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

17 years 12 months ago

2 each

ima little sorry 2 but then 2 each h/riz own
P

Pleides

17 years 12 months ago

Betu L8 thn nevu

I did enjoy the novelty of this one Rob. I've not seen a poem created like this before. It's clever and made me smile. (A while ago I wrote a poem using things like ;-) and :-( in it. I might see if I can find it again and post it here.) Pleiades
A

Amaranthine

17 years 12 months ago

Text talk

I think this is funny - coz no 1 I no uses txt mssgs excpt 4 kidz....who say things like - dat sux 4 real! OMG, gtg, ttyl!!!
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

17 years 12 months ago

u hit the nail on the head:

u hit the nail on the head: i do this when the poem i am writing makes me feel a little like 1 of the kidz and as u will c your comment inspired me 2 change the last line of stanzas 2 and 3 thanx amara - ttyl!!!
S

Synchro

17 years 12 months ago

Since you have asked for severity, here

You've got it. Even if this is intended as a satire of teen "text talk," it is absolute drivel, with nothing to ameliorate that impression. From your photo, you come off as a sophisticated and probably educated person (any red-wine drinker shows signs of worthiness in my opinion) but this piece denies it. Please toss it, and give us something to read. Yours in peace, Synchro
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

17 years 12 months ago

Well...

Well, you might prefer the Shakespearean sonnets accessible, at my profile, about the discovery and naming of the planets and elements? but from a certain point of view 1 could call them absolute drivel 2
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

17 years 12 months ago

Playing the Words

Poetry can get too serious about itself; a huge part of the fun of it is "playing the words" (as Robert Frost put it). Unlike things such as colored or otherwise special fonts, text talk actually plays with the visual structure of words; clearly, some find this fun, others merely silly. My poem "in either case" is not {consciously) intended as a satire; it has a serious point, but one that I chose to try to convey playfully, since it is a philosophical/theological point that would otherwise become ponderous I think.
S

Synchro

17 years 12 months ago

Ok I'll accept that....but

I doubt that the question would ever become ponderous. :-) Yours in peace, Synchro
S

Synchro

17 years 12 months ago

I will add to that by venturing

that "text talk" is only very lazy speech, resorting to the least common denominator in communication, and should never be encouraged, even tacitly or philosophically, by those who know better. Yours in peace, Synchro