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The Perils of Rhyme
Rhyming in poetry is treacherous because it appears to be one of the easiest things we can do. It's a game we play as children, it's in all of our nursery tales, it's in our songs, it's in the great poetry we are forced to read.
So everyone who can rhyme does so.
And that's not the problem.
The problem is that people, normally, latch onto the very first rhyme that comes to mind and defend it with their life rather than entertaining a thought that, maybe, just maybe, a closer look is in order. People will mangle grammar to hit an obvious rhyme, will toss away their narrative and message to hit a rhyme, will sacrifice their entire poem, just to hit a rhyme.
And it bothers me.
If I see "love" I know the matching line will end in "above" with heaven and/or angels tossed in. And I don't want to know that. I want the narrative to lead me not follow a worn and dismal path. But "love" is a hard word to rhyme, so what's a poet to do?
If you are rhyming, avoid end words that limit your narrative.
So instead of:
She looked at me and declared her true love
And angels smiled at us from above
I smiled at her and then she smiled back at me
And I knew that none on Earth were as happy.
What about something like:
She spoke of love and love flowed through my veins
And there soothed me and scattered the remains
Of misery from heart and once dull soul,
Filled me with joy and made my spirit whole.
The former, in my less than humble opinion, exists more for the rhyme than for the sentiment. Besides, there is nothing expressed in it that has not been expressed a million, million, million times over and it's not even expressed in any attempt at clever. Rather it's the same tired verse and the poet expects the reader to somehow understand what they mean even though the poet has given the reader nothing on which they can build.
The latter, I believe, actually makes a fair pass at expressing the sentiment by telling the reader the effect of the love, I find this approach much less cringe-worthy. I don't feel as if the end rhymes are there as place holders and the rest of the words dropped in to fit the preconceived portions. I also smoothed out the meter, it was painful for me to sabotage in the first example.
Now, it should be noted, love poetry and I don't often meet on the blank page, but I felt everyone could see the point I was attempting to make and thus inflicted a verse.
But if you absolutely must use a word like "love" to end a rhymed line, be creative:
We watched the sun as it slipped from the sky
And I gazed at the sparkle in her eye
As she whispered of honesty and love
I walked her to the rail and gave a shove.
See the above note concerning me and love poetry.
So, by what right do I feel I can take such a position?
None, of course.
If the poetry in question has a limited audience and they are sufficiently moved by it, then, please, change nothing. If the poem is meant for a wider audience, I beg you, consider each line as if it were gold and once cast is lost forever. As poets, all we have is words and it seems a crime to use them without consideration.
But remember, above all else, a poem is not required to rhyme. If you find rhymes distracting or detrimental, go for blank verse or free form or other styles of unrhymed poetry. And lastly, if someone, like me, asks you to take a look at a line, realise that the suggestion is made with the deepest respect for the effort even if there is no love lost for the current result.
A simple way of saying this is "I hate the line, not the poet."
End of rant, if I have offended anyone, please remember, I am a cantankerous old man and am full of shit.
This is an explanation, not an apology
So everyone who can rhyme does so.
And that's not the problem.
The problem is that people, normally, latch onto the very first rhyme that comes to mind and defend it with their life rather than entertaining a thought that, maybe, just maybe, a closer look is in order. People will mangle grammar to hit an obvious rhyme, will toss away their narrative and message to hit a rhyme, will sacrifice their entire poem, just to hit a rhyme.
And it bothers me.
If I see "love" I know the matching line will end in "above" with heaven and/or angels tossed in. And I don't want to know that. I want the narrative to lead me not follow a worn and dismal path. But "love" is a hard word to rhyme, so what's a poet to do?
If you are rhyming, avoid end words that limit your narrative.
So instead of:
She looked at me and declared her true love
And angels smiled at us from above
I smiled at her and then she smiled back at me
And I knew that none on Earth were as happy.
What about something like:
She spoke of love and love flowed through my veins
And there soothed me and scattered the remains
Of misery from heart and once dull soul,
Filled me with joy and made my spirit whole.
The former, in my less than humble opinion, exists more for the rhyme than for the sentiment. Besides, there is nothing expressed in it that has not been expressed a million, million, million times over and it's not even expressed in any attempt at clever. Rather it's the same tired verse and the poet expects the reader to somehow understand what they mean even though the poet has given the reader nothing on which they can build.
The latter, I believe, actually makes a fair pass at expressing the sentiment by telling the reader the effect of the love, I find this approach much less cringe-worthy. I don't feel as if the end rhymes are there as place holders and the rest of the words dropped in to fit the preconceived portions. I also smoothed out the meter, it was painful for me to sabotage in the first example.
Now, it should be noted, love poetry and I don't often meet on the blank page, but I felt everyone could see the point I was attempting to make and thus inflicted a verse.
But if you absolutely must use a word like "love" to end a rhymed line, be creative:
We watched the sun as it slipped from the sky
And I gazed at the sparkle in her eye
As she whispered of honesty and love
I walked her to the rail and gave a shove.
See the above note concerning me and love poetry.
So, by what right do I feel I can take such a position?
None, of course.
If the poetry in question has a limited audience and they are sufficiently moved by it, then, please, change nothing. If the poem is meant for a wider audience, I beg you, consider each line as if it were gold and once cast is lost forever. As poets, all we have is words and it seems a crime to use them without consideration.
But remember, above all else, a poem is not required to rhyme. If you find rhymes distracting or detrimental, go for blank verse or free form or other styles of unrhymed poetry. And lastly, if someone, like me, asks you to take a look at a line, realise that the suggestion is made with the deepest respect for the effort even if there is no love lost for the current result.
A simple way of saying this is "I hate the line, not the poet."
End of rant, if I have offended anyone, please remember, I am a cantankerous old man and am full of shit.
This is an explanation, not an apology