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Friday, April 11 Brain Dump
I'm a structure geek, it's the way my brain is wired. I solve patterned IQ questions with subjective ease. I make associative leaps and match likeness in statements or positions or techniques almost instinctively.
This, at times, induces me to attempt incredibly idiotic things, with varying success. I also, without fail, make spectacular errors. It never stops me, of course, from resting assured I see the correct patterns but it can give an impression of arrogance that is so far removed from who I am that I am always appalled people might actually conclude that I ever think myself better than another human.
I'm appalled it happens but I don't consider it important enough to change. I know that's a contradiction but it's a contradiction with which I can live.
A consequence of this situation within my own mind is that I normally write highly structured poetry. At times I invest a structure so complex I need a road-map to understand it. Some of these structures are well received, some not so much, and some never see the light of day because they started as:
"Hmm, this might be neat . . ."
and ended as:
"Oh dear God, what total shit."
And yes, I still use the word "neat." As I tell people, I tired to be hip and cool once but they saw me and crossed the street.
A side effect of my near mania for structure within my own work is a disconnect with some other poets. These are usually people who prefer freeform poetry both to read and to write and find what they class as my reliance on structure both confining and unimaginative. I admit this saddens me for these folks are missing a basic point.
I do not rely on structure for my poetry I love to write structured poems.
I view the former as a form of capitulation while the latter is a passion.
And I am in love with passion.
I had one well-meaning person tell me:
"If you want a poem that leaves a real impact you might need to stop writing like you are afraid to have a poor line."
They did not mean it as an insult, they meant it as heartfelt advice and so I took it in the manner they desired. I did let them know that while I understood their conclusion I disagreed. But I did not take offense for I realised that, no matter what, I would never be able to explain to them in terms they would understand that structure need not be a limitation, that there is a difference between being afraid to make a mistake and desiring to make certain you've done your best, and, most importantly of all, that passion can take many forms.
Where is all of this going? Do I have a point or did I just have some spare time to bore and lecture?
The answer is always, at least partially, 'spare time.' In this case, however, I do have a point.
I am in love with words. In my poetry I try to convey my love of words by painting pictures with them. I know I will never write that one great line that will be quoted for 1,000 years and that's more than okay. All I want, and all I care about with my poetry, is that it be enjoyed by those who read it. I've been attempting to write for the better part of 45 years now with varying degrees of success. I've gotten more than my share of rejection, more than my share of acceptance, and more than my share of opportunity.
This compels me to keep writing, keep experimenting, and to keep offering what I believe is insight into the work of others.
So I would beg your indulgence should my general lack of social skills and presumption to offer suggestions cause offence. Conversely, please realise that I deeply appreciate any suggestion on my work. I may not adopt it, but I appreciate the time and effort that has been taken to review and advise.
And, finally, I know that some of the structures I will attempt, with the very best of intentions, will utterly fail. Never shy away from pointing this out to me if I appear not to have made the connection.
This, at times, induces me to attempt incredibly idiotic things, with varying success. I also, without fail, make spectacular errors. It never stops me, of course, from resting assured I see the correct patterns but it can give an impression of arrogance that is so far removed from who I am that I am always appalled people might actually conclude that I ever think myself better than another human.
I'm appalled it happens but I don't consider it important enough to change. I know that's a contradiction but it's a contradiction with which I can live.
A consequence of this situation within my own mind is that I normally write highly structured poetry. At times I invest a structure so complex I need a road-map to understand it. Some of these structures are well received, some not so much, and some never see the light of day because they started as:
"Hmm, this might be neat . . ."
and ended as:
"Oh dear God, what total shit."
And yes, I still use the word "neat." As I tell people, I tired to be hip and cool once but they saw me and crossed the street.
A side effect of my near mania for structure within my own work is a disconnect with some other poets. These are usually people who prefer freeform poetry both to read and to write and find what they class as my reliance on structure both confining and unimaginative. I admit this saddens me for these folks are missing a basic point.
I do not rely on structure for my poetry I love to write structured poems.
I view the former as a form of capitulation while the latter is a passion.
And I am in love with passion.
I had one well-meaning person tell me:
"If you want a poem that leaves a real impact you might need to stop writing like you are afraid to have a poor line."
They did not mean it as an insult, they meant it as heartfelt advice and so I took it in the manner they desired. I did let them know that while I understood their conclusion I disagreed. But I did not take offense for I realised that, no matter what, I would never be able to explain to them in terms they would understand that structure need not be a limitation, that there is a difference between being afraid to make a mistake and desiring to make certain you've done your best, and, most importantly of all, that passion can take many forms.
Where is all of this going? Do I have a point or did I just have some spare time to bore and lecture?
The answer is always, at least partially, 'spare time.' In this case, however, I do have a point.
I am in love with words. In my poetry I try to convey my love of words by painting pictures with them. I know I will never write that one great line that will be quoted for 1,000 years and that's more than okay. All I want, and all I care about with my poetry, is that it be enjoyed by those who read it. I've been attempting to write for the better part of 45 years now with varying degrees of success. I've gotten more than my share of rejection, more than my share of acceptance, and more than my share of opportunity.
This compels me to keep writing, keep experimenting, and to keep offering what I believe is insight into the work of others.
So I would beg your indulgence should my general lack of social skills and presumption to offer suggestions cause offence. Conversely, please realise that I deeply appreciate any suggestion on my work. I may not adopt it, but I appreciate the time and effort that has been taken to review and advise.
And, finally, I know that some of the structures I will attempt, with the very best of intentions, will utterly fail. Never shy away from pointing this out to me if I appear not to have made the connection.