The poem review of Damocles

I've never seen a poem written about what appears to be the authors idea of bad poetry before! I think that makes it a little less masturbatory. I thought it was rye humor and I like it. Sorry, I have no suggestions. Always, Cat

As long as this wasn't a personal attack on somones crit on your poetry on this site it is fair enough. Critics who aren't poets are bottomfeeders. In the fish sense and the obscene one. That's why this place is so cool, anyone who comments has already exposed themselves to commentary (or if they haven't we will will fuck them off quicksmart!) On the other hand I just re-read it and could interpret it as a love lament, so misunderstood. Big ambiguity, dig it, but am not sure now what you are trying to say. the Damocles title is intriguing though, cheers, Jess

nothing much to say-to me the last stanza is exceptional, i am being serious , to me the last line of this stanza does not work ,it is the kind of line i myself write on a bad day , though on a good day i am nowhere near as good as last lines of yours'-lesley-though i find these last lines funny i must admit, however an inner voice says i am very childish-lesley- i still find them funny though. I unfortunately can not say anything learn-ed-great title also.

On re-reading this i find all of it tremendous-also to use the expression a string of turds is a Rabelasian masterpiece , you have the gift-Unfortunately i am subjecting members of this site with my poetry , i am sorry to say i can not give up this habit, my latest is not even a poem really it is more prose-lesley- In fact I'm not too sure if Rabelais himself came up with an expression as good as a string of turds , I like Rabelais because as an educated monk he writes of that world and also uses the language one finds to be used by junkies hanging out , just saying in case people think i d'ont like Rabelais.

It's nice I liked the rhyme scheme especially. I do have to say the alst line is a little bit weak, lazy even, or maybe it's jsut the fact I don't like the word turd! Other that that I liked it, it's a theme close to my heart. I wrote a poem like this myself entitled "Self", and also another you may be interested inis called "Enormous Balloons", it's about modern poets and such. Hope you take the time to read them, seems we're on the same page :D Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

Hey I have a T-shirt with the Logo San Diego Now I see the whole transmorphic Illiteration the connection if you will the poem could perhaps use more Ooomph other then this I found it amusing and witty (and not at all snitty)

I give an extra star for comment although there is no change in original ol poem still its good to see that this is a workshop and not all work can be expected to be rolled out without some detailing notification I knew whom Damocles is or was and I am happy to see that you critiqued my work recently as did Elf and all others in my real work part time we can change things adapt them with shaving tools for plaster moulds and heat guns for plastics etc critiqueing is a tool This is a good poem about reading poetry and finding it rather appalling about looking and not finding the spark or connection I will go and look and see if you have mentioned anything that has struck you as Vastly interesting now but you have me thinking in the wide spectrum about poetry that doesnt strike one as distinct this is what Sexton strove for and others in wanting to become much better poets as one can tell here I am lazy and dont change spelling if I knew for certian I could make money from this monkey business of tapping away with my borrowed brain I would take it more serious all of my many personas dont seem to take this too serious yet maybe I should think about this too hmmm