Men can be stalked, and it's no fun. The reaction of some male friends [Oh just give her one, that'll keep her satisfied] doesn't help.

I knew from the first meeting that Mrs X would be trouble. The only problem was that I miscalculated as to the kind of trouble. I thought I’d have an ‘educational’ wrestling match on my hands. If only ……   She came with her husband, though I don’t think Mr X [the wettest wimp I’ve ever met] said more than two words – Hello and Goodbye – throughout the interview. They came to seek a place at my school for their child, despite [as I learned later] being told by the LEA officers that her child’s needs were outside the range of our school. The interview went as well as could be expected, though I had to make sure that it was clearly understood that I was not empowered to offer a place. Only the LEA could do that. She maintained that her child had a specific language disorder, and that was the only reason he was failing to learn. This is not uncommon – parents often focus on superficial problems whatever the evidence. I telephoned the Special Needs department after the visit to see if the child was known … and found that they had been pressuring for a place for some time. To cut a long story short they got a place – by threatening to leave their child on the Town Hall steps until he was given one.   It was clear when her child arrived that language was the least of his many problems, and that he had much more severe difficulties than those we were designed for … but I determined to do the best we could, and Mrs X expressed her thanks most fulsomely. She seemed like a model parent at first: attending every official meeting, donating goods [some of which still had price tags on] to Jumble Sales and Christmas Fairs and contributing to school fund. She also offered to come in to help with school events and outings. All to the good, though I got a little tired with her habit of always finding something to discuss with me any time she was in school.   There was one ‘oddity’ which left me rather uncomfortable at the time, though I thought maybe I was over-reacting. Parents used to send items for the Summer Fairs and Christmas Fairs, and I used to sort them ready for the various stalls [my time was more flexible than other staff members]. Mrs X knew that I did this chore – she found out everything from other staff – and arrived with some parcels [how kind!] and offered to help me sort them [even kinder!].   Most of the parcels were straightforward, but the last contained a collection of rather fancy and erotic panties. She seemed to delight in the fact that I took hold of them, and assured me they were freshly laundered [though some I’m sure were simply new] and even pressed a pair to my face to prove her point. I tried to laugh it off, but I was deeply suspicious.   But all the staff thought she was wonderful – except the office staff that she treated with disdain when imperiously demanding to speak to me. She would never accept that I ‘was busy’. My secretary was always apologising for letting her get through to me.   Things began to get a little more stressful when she joined the Parents’ Association, and then got voted onto the Governing Body as a Parent Representative. She knew that I didn’t drive then she offered [deliberately in front of my wife] to give me a lift to PA and Governors meetings. It was impossible to refuse … when I tried to she said, as a mock joke, “Oh you needn’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you” My wife thought it was a good idea, so that’s what happened. No problem at first [this woman was patient], but then she started parking a little way from the venues and asking to hold my hand “because she was scared”. Later on the way home, she’d stop at a pub “just for a quick drink”. The car park was usually badly lit so it was hand-hold time again.   Next she reported to me that “other PA members call their Heads by their first name” I was reluctant, but my wife thought it was a more modern approach and backed Mrs X’s request. I got round that quite neatly [I thought] by inviting ALL PA members to call me Mike. She didn’t like it, but could hardly complain. However, she did annoy members of staff by arriving with greater frequency and demanding to speak to ‘Mike.’ If told I was busy, she’d retort “Oh he’ll see me. I’ll just go down to his office. Bye!” My secretary told me years afterwards that all the staff was wondering if we were having an affair – which is the impression I’m sure she wanted to give. It was about this time that I noticed that when out shopping on Saturday, we always seemed to ‘bump into’ Mrs X and family. Often she’d send her child to greet us, then tell him off for disturbing me out of school!   It became obvious that things were getting seriously out of hand when Mrs X and family happened to arrive at a cottage 200 yards from our hired cottage in a remote part of Scotland on the same week. This happened two years in succession, so for the 3rd year I swore my wife to secrecy [nobody was to be told where we were going – Mrs X was expert at getting information from people – the most resourceful woman I’ve ever met] but this time when we arrived at our cottage on Anglesey, the landlady told us that ‘our friend’ had been to see if we’ve arrived yet. I suspect that my wife couldn’t keep her mouth shut.   By this time I’d asked my wife to help me get rid of Mrs X – perhaps by saying she didn’t like all the extra pub visits. Far from doing that, my wife simply encouraged her by accepting dinner invitations and colluding with Mrs X when we accidentally met. What I didn’t know, of course, was that my wife had started her series of affairs [the first one with her Deputy Head] and it suited her purpose for me to be so totally preoccupied.   Mrs X also helped me with driving practice [I wanted to avoid lifts] after arranging this with my wife. I couldn’t think of a good reason to turn her down, particularly since she said it was my wife’s idea. She did ask for a kiss once or twice for her help, but seemed content with a peck on the cheek. I have to say her constant presence wherever I went was telling very badly on me, though I got no sympathy from my wife who accused me of exaggerating the problem.   Mrs X made her serious play one afternoon when she heard I was to attend a meeting at a school near her home. She asked if I could pick up some items for the Summer Fair on my way past after the meeting. I got to the house, was invited in and then pushed hard against the wall and kissed.   It was so sudden I was paralysed at first … then one hand was at my zip, and the other pushing one of my hands up her skirt, where it was clear she was without panties. I can’t hurt women, so I couldn’t slap her or anything, but I did manage to pull away after a short while. She then tried to get me to stay and slid down onto her knees - with the obvious intention - but I pushed past her and fled. I didn’t tell my wife, because you always think “could I have handled the situation better? How much was my fault? etc., etc., etc.”   She turned up school the next day as if nothing had happened, but I wouldn’t see her. I couldn’t ban her from school because she was still a Governor, but I could refuse to see her. There were one or two stressful occasions when she simply barged into my office, and I couldn’t tell the staff why I didn’t want her around. Many of them still thought she was wonderful! She got the message that she was not getting into my pants, and that I would not even go back to the previous ‘friendly’ basis. So she got nasty.   She told LEA officers and the Chair of Governors that I was having an affair with a [unnamed] member of staff [definitely not true].  She sent anonymous letters to my wife’s Head, and to me, telling of my wife’s affair [this was true, but I didn’t know that then] and started the campaign of dropped phone calls and following me everywhere by car [often, would you believe, with her lemon of a husband driving!]. One day I had 127 dropped calls at home or school. The phone company couldn’t do anything about them since no threats were made. The police couldn’t act because I had no actual proof, although they did go to ‘investigate’ in the hope it would scare her. It didn’t.   This situation went on until Mrs X found out that I was starting a relationship with someone new [a few years after I left my wife]. I caught her and her husband in their car ‘lying in wait’ for me round the corner from my new girlfriend’s house. I left my car, got him to wind his window down and told the pair of them that whatever the cost to me I would expose them to the local press. I told Mr X it would make him look like a prize wimp or a pimp, and that his wife would be painted as a whore by the time I’d finished.   I’m not sure if I’d have gone ahead if it hadn’t worked … certainly I was desperate enough. The incidents don’t sound too bad, I know – but it was the constant pressure which told on me. The stress had its consequences: I’d developed the habit of over-breathing. Hyperventilation sounds trivial but its effects are devastating – total muscular tiredness and hallucinatory episodes are just two. I was very ill. But as you can see, I got over it.