I'm Not Beat

I had a planYou seeAbout how thingsWere going to be I was all setI was all readyI only neededTo hold steady Then suddenlyThings have all changedFrom my hopes and dreamsI am estranged Once everything was so clearNow I am filled with dreadAnd fear I thought I hadSo much cloutBut, now I findI am filled with doubt Now I findMy path is blockedMy confidenceIt runs from meAnd my golden wordsFall like debris Is everything I've done for naught?In dread and blacknessI am caught The demons in my headHave clawedAm I nothingBut, a fraud? Am I finished?Is this the end?Were all my dreamsJust for pretend? Is it over?Am I dead?Is there no moreTo be said? My vision doublesMy ink smearsI can hardly seeThrough my tears No, noIt cannot beI must haveA little morePoetry I'll write againI’ll muddle throughIn the endI always do

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Patthepoet

18 years 4 months ago

"I'm not Beat" comment

Michael, I hope these last two poems are just that--only well written poems, and not how you are really feeling. I love your poetry. As I told you before, I love rhyming poems , and I think yours are really great. Just continue to "muddle through" All of your inspiration will come back. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Pat.

Sinbadthesailorman

18 years 4 months ago

I love this for when i get stop ped with

no escape I feel so I have just begun writing again and hope to go back to school to learn more of this craft for it is some thing that keeps the wick yet lit Nice yob man no blocks no folds and yet the vase is half full or empty it is still carrying the waters of life Donnie/Sinbad Have a Blessed and Safe Holidays Mike

meic

18 years 4 months ago

Movingly written. My mother

Movingly written. My mother had a saying which some would describe as trite or dismiss as a commonplace truism. "And this, too, will pass" She was more often right than trite. Keep the faith! Mike Photo: Me, early 50s - just after winning the resort Disco dancing competition.[!!] For my own orginal graphic art please visit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7911705@N07

TheRealTearsICry

18 years 4 months ago

.

i loved the whole thing but my fav part was: "The demons in my head Have clawed Am I nothing But, a fraud?" ~RealTears

Michael Landau

18 years 4 months ago

Thank you everyone for your

Thank you everyone for your comments! It always seems to me that people often like other people because of the talents and abilities that they possess. I often wonder what would happen if I lost my talents and abilities. Would people still like me, or would everyone just go away? It seems that I'm so often defined by what I can do. Actually, when I stop and think about it, I'm more often defined by what I can't do. Then, there are people in this world who have almost no talents or abilities. I guess people like that have the most difficult time. Who takes an interest in them? It always seems like the more I achieve, the more people expect from me. There are some people in my situation who get praised for completing even the smallest task. Often, when I do something that I consider a great achievement people say, "That was good, now tell us what you are going to do next?". I know it's a trap to always define yourself based upon what other people expect of you. However, most people spend their whole lives trying to please the crowd, and perhaps that's why they often fail to achieve the things that are most important to them.

barbsdad2003

18 years 4 months ago

At times giving up ...

can be a therapeutic turning of a page. This is a wonderfully heartfelt piece you posted here. As is your comment titled, in part, "Thank You ..." I've seen the other side, where people engage in a jealous hate reserved for someone with glaring talent to draw on. Self-doubt is a part of being human. When it's honestly felt---and expressed---people are generally (though not always) drawn to the person who reveals it. And please keep in mind that when people are not accepting of the Michael that's at your core, they as well do not accept themselves. It can be so-o-o difficult to shake society's manipulations and allow the center out. To be human is a wonderful thing. That is, to be fully human is a wonderful thing. Also please keep in mind that my comment here talks to me, as does yours to you. The commenter too often is seduced by thinking the message is for the person being spoken to. We are taught to think that way. And what we are taught contributes mightily to our confusion. See how I continue to talk to myself? It can't be escaped. It can't be helped. All of us live with what we have---and what we don't have. The hero makes the most of it. Whatever the it is. Thanx for your honesty. It helps all of us looking on to see more clearly. Yours, Chuck

Janice Pearce

17 years 8 months ago

I'm Not Beat

Michael, I loved this it came from the heart. Just one suggestion: Please yourself first, and admiration [if really needed] will follow!

Michael Landau

17 years 8 months ago

I think that's good advice!

Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't, but I guess if you're only doing it to please other people, then maybe your doing it for the wrong reason. On the other hand, if you're the only one that gets pleasure from it, is it still worth doing? I always wonder whether my poetry is nothing more than an exercise in my own vanity. If it is, is that bad? Sincerely, Michael