Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

what actually is

 

"what actually is"

  

moving through a city route,
noting the way a bus door opens,
the way two strangers negotiate space

 

    at a crossing,
        the way afternoon light
            angles across a shopfront,

 

            all rendered in a single,
    continuous line that feels improvised
but what actually is deliberate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 .

— crypticbard, May 12, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows., I am because we are

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

3 weeks 3 days ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem captures a moment of urban observation with a quiet attentiveness that invites readers to slow down and notice the subtle interactions and details of everyday life. The imagery—such as the bus door opening, strangers negotiating space, and the afternoon light angling across a shopfront—creates a vivid and relatable scene.

The structure, with its staggered lines and deliberate spacing, mirrors the poem’s theme of movement and observation. The indentation and line breaks give a sense of layering and depth, echoing how small moments accumulate into a larger experience. The phrase “all rendered in a single, / continuous line that feels improvised / but what actually is deliberate” serves as a thoughtful metaphor for both the poem’s form and the act of perception itself.

One area to consider is the poem’s punctuation and formatting. The use of quotation marks and the italicized, bolded title within the poem might be reconsidered for clarity and flow. Additionally, the final line’s phrasing—“but what actually is deliberate”—could be reworked slightly for smoother reading, perhaps by adjusting word order or punctuation to enhance its impact.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys the tension between spontaneity and intention, both in art and in life, through its careful attention to detail and form. Further refinement of its visual presentation and phrasing could deepen its resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.

Geezer

Geezer

3 weeks 3 days ago

The feeling of...


a mild disorientation crossed my mind as I read this. 
The deliberateness of interconnection makes this a vision of movement across several scenes. Nicely done, ~ Geez

 

Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

3 weeks 3 days ago

Reminds

me of the that WW1 film shot not too long ago using one continuous take, “1917” I think it was called.