The night Santa had to wear waders.

The IBEW LU-#1...That's International Brotherhood of Elfin Workers, Local Union #1 North Pole, for those not familiar with trade union speak, had their monthly meeting last night. Recording Secretary: Hiram Fuddy Fatfeet, gave the minutes from the last general meeting. The rank and file approved the minutes from the last meeting. Brother Fatfeet then went on to read the minutes from the various sub-units: Unit 1-(Traditional Wooden Toy Division) The oldest and most influential unit. They reported an influx of cheap knock off toys from unscrupulous third world dealers. They are hoping to launch an organizing campaign in the spring, where they hope to show the Asian elfin labor market the advantages of being represented. Unit-2 (Doll Division) which reported a recent boost in their number due to the increase interest in collectable "Action Figures" regardless what anyone in the human world calls them, they are in reality handled by the Doll Division. Their projected labor looks good for the next couple of years. Unit-3 (Electronics Division)-Noted that they are currently experiencing a production vs. demand imbalance. Apparently they have a greater demand for the new toy lines than they have production lines. With much consideration and discussion they have voted to sub-contract several production lines to the GGMG or Gnomish Game Maker's Guild. An associated member of the AFL-CIO. (Associated Fantasy Labor-Congress of Inspirational Organizations) Unit-4 (Secret Santa Division) has just one item that they feel compelled to bring to the larger body. They report an alarming rise in repackaging of gag gift items. The worst culprit for this season is: The resurgence of the multi-colored or banded toe socks. They would invite Unit-5 Textiles, to cease and desist production of this holiday item. They were horrible gifts in the '70's, they have not improved with age. This gift item has been in continuous circulation since 1976, only adding to the current stockpile will hurt sales of true Christmas items. Unit-5 (Textile Division) reports an amazing increase in demand in toe socks this season. They would invite Unit-4 to keep their narrow noses out of other units business. As they have had reduced production numbers in the last couple of years due to foreign production of woolen and cotton items coming out of the Middle Kingdom. Chinese Elves have been reportedly been chained to weaving machines of late. Unit-5 would like to invite the Special Investigation Branch to form a fact finding mission, and report on the actual working conditions of our brother and sister elves working in the Middle Kingdom. Unit-6 (Internal Health and Welfare Division) Reports, that due to run away American based multi-national medical corporations, the cost of much needed magical medical supplies has risen 150% in the last fiscal year. Since there is no longer a threat to nationalization of medical care, the right wing elves of the unaligned magical welfare suppliers report that they will charge what the market will bear. With a unfunded liability increasing, the ability to cover workers will bring about a decision, A-to either limit our coverage of certain items to include prescription costs or B-to reduce our payment coverage from 5% cost to worker 95% paid by Kringle Industries. Or finally option C- Joining an HMO. Unit-6 will call a special meeting to discuss these options after the New Year. Finally under good of the Union, Brother Felix Haakon Swampmucker would like to place a motion before the general body. To read thus: I Brother Felix Haakon Swampmucker Card Number A1776JL would like for the cafeteria staff to include prunes or other high fiber items in the up coming meal rotation. Since I am the shop steward in the maintenance section. The lack of fiber in our diet has had of late a disastrous effect on our antiquated plumbing network. This lack of fiber has created for lack of a better word "Blockages" in the pipes. This is especially true of the Management Section of Kringle Industries. The Milk and Cookie diet has been having disastrous effects on the plumbing in the CEO's Office. The last time the CEO had a bowel movement, it looked like an Elephant had voided himself. With the incipient back lash of water pressure. Mr. Claus had to wear waders for a week. It took the assistance of two Cave Trolls sub-contracted out by TRS or Troll Repair Services to completely reline the lead pipes in his office. Consequently the stench will take a Level-6 Mage to remove the smell. Which will place my section in the red. All of which could have been avoided if, there had been a higher fiber content in our diet. Fraternally Yours: Felix Haakon Swampmucker. All sub-units minutes were approved by the rank and file. Next on the agenda will be the CEO's Report. *CEO's Report to be read at the next general meeting, due to the Christmas Delivery Schedule.