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Gone for a little
"When you look in the mirror
What do you see?"
Well, it doesn’t matter
Because it isn’t really me.
The only way,
To know me well,
Is to take my song
And find its tell.
I don’t want people to know
Who I am and what I think.
That’s why I haven’t written,
For at least a little bit.
Do I even want to start,
Or continue this journey?
I feel it has only begun,
But it's really hard to keep up.
But here I am still
Sharing what I think,
Even though my fear
Is saying how I feel.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I don't really know what to say for this one. I haven't written in a long while. And it is not that I couldn't find what to write about, I just felt like, in comparison to what I am doing that everyone in my family is so proud of, this, which no one knows about, is less important, but I guess here I am putting myself out there. I am not ready to give just yet.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores themes of self-perception, vulnerability, and the tension between self-expression and self-protection. The opening lines use the mirror as a metaphor for identity, but then immediately undercut the metaphor’s reliability, suggesting that outward appearances are deceptive or insufficient for true understanding. The shift to “my song” as a more authentic expression of self introduces the idea that art or creative output is a truer reflection of the speaker than physical appearance.
The poem’s structure is conversational and direct, with short stanzas and simple language. This lends an immediacy to the voice, but also results in some lines that feel prosaic, such as “That’s why I haven’t written, / For at least a little bit.” The poem’s central tension—between the desire to hide and the compulsion to share—emerges most strongly in the final stanza, where the act of writing becomes an act of vulnerability despite fear.
The poem could benefit from more concrete imagery or figurative language to deepen its emotional impact. Currently, the language remains abstract (“my song,” “my fear,” “this journey”), which may limit the reader’s ability to connect with the speaker’s experience. Additionally, the rhyme and meter are inconsistent, which can be effective in conveying uncertainty, but at times the irregularity feels unintentional rather than purposeful.
Consider refining the language to include more sensory detail or metaphor, and clarifying the emotional stakes of the speaker’s dilemma. This could help the poem move beyond generalities and create a more resonant, memorable experience for the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 weeks ago
We are here...
when you are ready.
Look around, do some reading, check things out. We do have people that just read for a long time, then eventually, they feel confident enough to step out there and show us something.
Some post a while and then not for a long time, some never come back, we are still here. So is your account; think about that, we have had people come back after ten years and resume their posts. Everything is as they left it. I hope you stick around and let us get to know you, ~ Geezer.
Lenka Bojadžievski
2 weeks 5 days ago
We will see
We will see where this all takes me, I guess. I am just really grateful for this opportunity to feel this much support. Thank you.
Lavender
2 weeks 6 days ago
Gone For A Little
"But here I am still, sharing what I think."
Just like most of us.
Thank you for sharing this. It's very raw, and vulnerable.
L
Lenka Bojadžievski
2 weeks 5 days ago
Thank you
That was all I wanted to say, just thank you, it means a lot to feel supported.