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Missing You
I miss you
phoning
just to say hello
I miss you
calling
to hear about your day
I miss you
coming here to stay
giving me
your precious time
I miss our travels together
taking in the sights
like kids set free
on a playground
finding pleasure
in exploring new things
I miss
your smile
sharing
hearty laughs
your affection
warm hugs
lying next to you
the warmth of
your physical presence
feeling secure
your arms wrapped around me
I miss
life with you
growing older with you
knowing you were my ONE
I miss you
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Written after the loss of my companion of 6 years in a tragic motorcycle accident. A well-liked fella not only by me, but those who had the pleasure of knowing him. My once in a lifetime!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem employs repetition effectively, using the phrase “I miss you” as a refrain to structure the speaker’s grief and longing. The poem’s plain diction and direct address create an intimate tone, which is appropriate for the subject matter of loss and yearning. The catalog of specific memories—phone calls, travels, laughter, physical affection—grounds the emotion in concrete detail, helping to move the poem beyond abstraction.
The poem’s lineation is generally consistent, with short lines that emphasize the simplicity and immediacy of the speaker’s feelings. However, the poem could benefit from more varied syntax or imagery in places, as the repetition risks becoming monotonous rather than cumulative. For example, the lines “I miss you / calling / to hear about your day” and “I miss you / coming here to stay” are structurally similar, but do not introduce new emotional or sensory information. Consider expanding or deepening these moments with more vivid or unexpected details.
The poem’s emotional arc is clear, moving from daily interactions to broader themes of companionship and aging. The closing lines—“I miss / life with you / growing older with you / knowing you were my ONE / I miss you”—bring the poem to a universal sentiment, but the phrase “my ONE” may feel less specific than earlier details. Exploring what “my ONE” means in terms of shared experiences or unique qualities could strengthen the ending.
Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its sincerity and specificity. Further revision could focus on balancing repetition with fresh imagery and refining the language to avoid generalizations, thereby deepening the emotional impact.
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Lavender
3 months ago
Missing You
Hello, Rita,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is deeply felt within your words.
Thank you for sharing this,
Lavender
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Rita
3 months ago
Thank you for the read and…
Thank you for the read and comments.
Rita
Wallyroo92
2 months 1 week ago
Missing You
Heart tugging and wonderful tribute. I am sorry for your loss. It really shows that the connection between two souls is a life long bond in the hands of fate.
Thank you for sharing such a personal piece of you.
Rita
2 months 1 week ago
TY
Thanks for the read and comment. Of course, it is my most precious and favorite piece.