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Something of a prophecy!

I had a vision of
God and His angels,
coming to visit
our unworthy planet

Great destruction
is soon to take place,
because of our love
for material things.

Our pride will gut us
in an unsavory way.
There will be no looking back,
on that prophesied day.

What in God's name
have we done with His heritage.
Seeking so opulently,
for things we can't possess.

Our children despise us as
we neglect their upbringing.
No longer will He stand for
our impudent ways.

Now, if you are wise
you will make your path straighter.
One third of the people,
will fall by the burning.

We'll burn and bury bodies,
for seven long years.
The wars that are coming,
will leave us destitute and naked,

But those who are favored will,
gather in great bodies.
preparing for the end
much as the Amish have done!

Perfection is a word to describe
God and His glory.
Don't be ashamed of
your own imperfections.

Just look to God and
absorb the power thereof.
Not looking back,
so that we might not stumble.

Never give into,
the despots around you.
Just think on His glory
and trust His strong arm!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is my own explanation of what really may happen. We still can avoid it, but I don't think we can stop it now. You never know for sure, just what might happen, but given our circumstances this very well may come to pass. Fear is a word for the weak and anxious heart. Control your mind and you can move mountains of thought. Never give up and never say die!

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

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neopoet

neopoet

4 months 4 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem adopts the voice of prophetic warning, drawing on biblical language and imagery to issue a call for repentance and spiritual realignment. The structure is composed of short stanzas, each advancing the narrative of impending judgment and the need for moral correction. The poem’s diction—words like “prophesied day,” “heritage,” “impudent,” and references to burning and bodies—evokes apocalyptic literature, situating the work within a tradition of religious prophecy.

The poem’s logic is consistent: it posits a causal relationship between humanity’s pride, materialism, and neglect of spiritual and familial duties, and the impending divine retribution. The reference to “one third of the people” and “seven long years” appears to allude to biblical prophecy, specifically the Book of Revelation, which lends the poem an intertextual resonance for readers familiar with Christian eschatology. The mention of the Amish as a model for preparation is an intriguing contemporary reference, though it is somewhat abrupt and could benefit from further contextualization within the poem’s thematic arc.

The poem’s rhetorical strategy relies on direct address (“Now, if you are wise…”) and imperative statements (“Just look to God…”), which serve to engage the reader and reinforce the urgency of the message. However, the poem’s tone remains largely declarative, with limited exploration of ambiguity or complexity in the human condition. The moral dichotomy—those who are favored versus those who fall—reflects the conventions of prophetic literature but could be deepened by more nuanced characterization or imagery.

Formally, the poem employs enjambment and irregular line lengths, which create a sense of urgency but sometimes disrupt the rhythm in ways that may not always serve the content. There are moments where the syntax is awkward or the phrasing could be clarified, such as in “What in God's name / have we done with His heritage.” The poem would benefit from greater attention to line breaks and the musicality of the language.

Overall, the poem effectively channels the tradition of religious prophecy, but could be strengthened by refining its imagery, clarifying its references, and varying its rhetorical approach to more fully engage the complexities of its themes.

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John Leslie O'Kelley

John Leslie O'Kelley

4 months 4 weeks ago

Something of a prophecy!

     I never intend to make afraid or disable.I just intend on illuminating the situation at hand. We all have beliefs about what may happen. My words are a way to say, take a good look around! Keep your chin up you don't need to be depressed , just live the goodness inside your heart!