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Untitled Sonnet

This room mourns in a gray-born shroud of loss.
It holds no light, I linger in the dark.
My joy bleeds out, as hung upon a cross,
my hope diminishes, both weak and stark.

I am aware of voices near my door,
but cannot understand who speaks beyond.
Is it a welcomed friend whom I adore?
Or my mistaken good will, overfond.

One feels alone when shattered by a word
so deep it cuts raw lesions through each breath.
While wishing such a void was never heard,
is this the point when hope shall meet its death?

Oh, tell me how alone I feel is wrong,
and that the world outside shall not move on.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Another try at my favorite form. Always much to learn. Sonnets can be overly dramatic, as is this.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

5 months ago

Dear Lavender,

This poem comes from some deeply serious stuff... I feel you are trying, with difficulty, to connect to someone or something. I need more time for an in depth comment of quality...I will return!

love, Cat

Lavender

Lavender

5 months ago

Hello, Cat,

This poem lends numerous feelings to me, but nothing exclusively specific. I hope the reader can take from it however it makes them feel  - thus, no title. 

Thank you, as always!

Lx

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

4 months 3 weeks ago

hello Lavender,

I said I would return and here I am... on this read through, I have made a new discovery!

these lines are especially saturated with emotions strong:

My joy bleeds out, as hung upon a cross,
my hope diminishes, both weak and stark.

I have felt that way so I completely understand. I will not tell you of the how or why it happened to me. Because that might depress you. It is an emotion that devastates one. I feel that you could not of written on this situation unless you have experienced it first hand. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am available and a good listener, too... be well, Lady Lavender, as eddy styx has named you..

sincerely and fondly Cat xxx

p.s. there are so many layers to this piece!

Lavender

Lavender

4 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Cat,

You are very kind!  Yes, you are a good listener.  This poem was indeed the result of something that happened to me, but fortunately, it opened my mind and heart to what others may be feeling, too.  I am well, now, and learned a lot about myself from the experience - it sounds like you have some wisdom in this area, too.  :)

Thank you, as always!

Lx

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

4 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Lady,

I am relieved to learn that it is not all bad, that some good has come from it :)  Just know that I am only a p.m away.

fondly, Cat xxx

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

4 months 3 weeks ago

:)

Many smiles to you!

very fondly,  Cat xxx