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Nov 18, 2025
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"Flip me like a toasted bread
While I'm still hot
My legs can go spread like thread
Stick it out and taste dark chocolate
if vowel were taught to you know
I like,'O' on 'oh my god' , a favourite word
I find prayer better when I'm on my knees
It's not worship but submission
Choke me is not a joke throw me few strokes
I don't care what you have between them thighs
I'm a fluid double the blessings
A big girl I can take it both ways.
"If I flow like a river, then you in for a ride
I'm a dominant femme, I go all week,
Even when you weak I don't mind
Making you sing alto tunes
We can form a band"
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Woke up feeling naughty
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem employs overtly sexual imagery and playful wordplay to explore themes of dominance, submission, and sexual fluidity. The opening metaphor, “Flip me like a toasted bread / While I’m still hot,” sets a tone that is both direct and metaphorical, using food as a stand-in for bodily experience. The poem continues to blend physical and linguistic play, as in the stanza about vowels and the letter “O,” which works on both a literal and euphemistic level.
The poem’s structure is loosely organized, with stanzas that do not follow a strict meter or rhyme scheme. This free verse approach matches the poem’s conversational and confessional voice. There is a notable use of enjambment and line breaks that sometimes create ambiguity (“I like, ‘O’ on ‘oh my god’, a favourite word”)—this can be effective for double meanings, but at times the syntax becomes difficult to follow, which may detract from the clarity of the imagery.
The poem’s tone is assertive and unapologetic, especially in lines like “I’m a dominant femme, I go all week,” and “I don’t care what you have between them thighs / I’m a fluid double the blessings.” The speaker’s voice is confident, foregrounding themes of agency and sexual empowerment. The poem also plays with gender and sexual orientation, challenging heteronormative expectations and emphasizing fluidity.
Some lines rely on cliché or familiar sexual metaphors (“choke me is not a joke,” “throw me few strokes”), which may limit the originality of the imagery. The poem is most effective when it leans into inventive or unexpected language, such as “If I flow like a river, then you in for a ride,” which combines metaphor and innuendo in a fresh way.
There are moments where grammar and punctuation disrupt the reading experience (“if vowel were taught to you know,” “I like,’O’ on ‘oh my god’ , a favourite word”), and tightening these lines could enhance clarity and impact. Attention to lineation and phrasing would help the poem’s rhythm and make the wordplay more effective.
Overall, the poem’s strengths lie in its boldness, playful language, and exploration of sexual identity. Greater attention to syntax, grammar, and the development of more original imagery could further strengthen its impact.
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