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11/25 The Deal

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Hope springs eternal...

as Democrats swept key races
in 2025 elections in early referendum
as the donkey switch places
with the elephant in house
and Trump on the warpath
ranting and raving against good graces
being upstaged courtesy
the webbed, wide world braces
as poker faced card sharp
doth captcha aces
in the figurative hole.

What with the New York
mayoral win of far left,
democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani
Mikie Sherrill and Abigail Spanberger,
both moderates, won the governorships
of New Jersey and Virginia.

Suddenly dark shadows
rimming royal thrown
with tawdry semi-
precious stones and zinc
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious wink
and offer reason with rhyme
giving electorates pause to think
the edge of night as outer limits
of the twilight zone ever so faintly - shrink,
where already
(a little less time
than two months hence)
"Auld Lang Syne" doth plink
heralding unexpected political events,
essentially Democratic clinchers favorably link
and pierce armor
of the autocrat, and plutocrat wannabe,
who tried his darnedest
to accuse honest to dog voters
and decent, honest, when
jump/kick starting luddites
nearly didst twitter shutterfly
at the speed of sound,
when commander in chief did hoodwink,
against social progressivism
but courtesy exercising free choice
didst rent sizable chink.

If a hypothetical poll taken today,
a tad less than three hundred and sixty days
from the 2026 mid-term elections
(simple minds still in full party swing mode
regarding the never expected win
regarding Zohran Kwame Mamdani,
an American politician
and first practicing Muslim
and mayor-elect of New York City.

A member of the Democratic Party
and the Democratic Socialists of America,
he has served as a member
of the New York State Assembly
from the 36th district since 2021,
representing the Queens
neighborhood of Astoria
Suddenly apocalyptic dystopian scenarios
appear less ominous and bleak
dawning realization triggered
a much milder reaction
analogous to when the gold rush spurred
the madding crowd to head for the hills
taking enough pause to utter salutations
such as "Konichiwa" - (こんにちは)
for a general "hello" or "good afternoon"
bandied across language barriers
from remote desolate
outpost of Poker Flats, to Cripple Creek.

More reason and rhyme
to buckle down with brass tacks
wallow in the muck and mire
and emerge covered in grime
anointing ephemeral folk heroes
characterized courtesy silent film stars
with exaggerated antics
did mine and mime
the rich motherlode birthing slapstick
quaint comedic troupes
that stood the test of time.

Back then viz the roaring twenties
which gave rise to a more
sobering prohibition thirties
within which the collective consciousness
begat vocalizations for the "little man,"
and the fringe populations of downtrodden
popularized courtesy anemic
social Darwinism phenomena,
whereby voices emerged
(outraged against the bourgeoisie
the wealthy class that owned
the means of production)
caricatured courtesy Charlie Chaplin
in his silent film Modern Times,
bespoke volumes and stereotyped people
according to their race, religion, nationality,
et cetera courtesy blatant
bias, bigotry, prejudice, et cetera
still omnipresent within
the second decade
of the twenty first century,
whereby the freedoms
of choice, religion, speech
though heavily suppressed of late.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

5 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem ambitiously weaves political commentary with historical and cultural references, creating a dense tapestry of ideas. The stream-of-consciousness style and irregular line breaks contribute to a feeling of urgency and complexity, reflecting the tumultuous political landscape it describes. However, this approach sometimes challenges readability and coherence, making it difficult for readers to follow the narrative thread or fully grasp the poem's emotional core.

The poem’s strength lies in its rich allusions—from the symbolism of the donkey and elephant to references like Charlie Chaplin’s *Modern Times* and the roaring twenties—inviting readers to consider the cyclical nature of political and social struggles. Yet, the poem could benefit from clearer structural organization. Breaking the text into stanzas with more consistent rhythm or meter might help emphasize key moments and allow the imagery and ideas to resonate more effectively.

Some phrases, such as “webbed, wide world braces” and “poker faced card sharp doth captcha aces,” are evocative but obscure, which may alienate readers unfamiliar with the metaphors or contemporary references like “captcha.” Clarifying or grounding these images could enhance accessibility without sacrificing poetic nuance.

The poem’s tone fluctuates between formal, archaic diction (“doth,” “didst”) and modern political jargon, which creates an intriguing contrast but occasionally feels uneven. Choosing a more consistent voice or deliberately signaling shifts in tone could strengthen the poem’s overall impact.

Finally, the poem’s conclusion gestures toward ongoing struggles for freedom and equality, but the ending feels somewhat abrupt and unresolved. Developing a more definitive closing image or statement might leave readers with a stronger sense of closure or a call to reflection.

In summary, refining the poem’s structure, clarifying some dense imagery, and smoothing tonal shifts would help balance its intellectual ambition with emotional engagement, making its political and historical meditation more compelling and accessible.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hope Springs Eternal...

The title says it all, the recent election gave the hope so many of us needed. Much work to be done moving forward. 

I will agree with AI - while your language is clever, I tend to get a bit lost interpretating some parts of the poem. 

Thank you!

L