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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 11/02/25 to 11/08/25

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Let's go to the Airport

Buzzy, my uncle, my guide, my best friend,
A special adventure that knows no end.
He drove to a spot where the tarmac was wide,
Where the sky met the earth and the great planes would glide.

The chain-link a barrier, tall, gray, and stark.
He flipped his small cooler right there in the dark.
A fence for a stool—a king's special seat,
To watch the big birds and the rhythmic retreat.

The roar of the engines, a thunderous sound,
As shadows grew long on the concrete ground.
Like silver-winged dragons, they swoop and they swing,
The majesty felt in the shuddering wing.
From far away places and journeys untold,
The great metal beasts came in colors of bold.
He pointed, he named them, a special show just for me,
My uncle, my Buzzy, his spirit was free.

Then the sun dipped its head, and the parking lights gleamed,
We packed up the memories of what we had dreamed.
And back through the streets, we sped swift as a breeze,
To dive in the blue, beneath whispering trees.
(back home in the pool with a little grace)
Weaving myself to leave bubbly lace.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA the bay state, United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa, Nigeria, Canada, Europe, USA

Favorite Poets: Mary Oliver: Known for her accessible and spiritual poetry that draws heavily on observations of the natural world. She often finds profound lessons and connections in the mundane, from a walk in the woods to the flight of a bird. , Robert Frost: While sometimes seen as a poet of rural life, his work is rich with observations of nature, which he often uses to explore themes of human isolation, choices, and the relationship between humanity and the natural world. , Walt Whitman: A central figure in American poetry, he celebrated nature as a force of unity and a reflection of the human spirit. His work often connects the individual to the vastness of the cosmos and the natural world. , William Wordsworth: A key figure in the Romantic movement, he emphasized the spiritual and emotional connections., Jess Taper: his profess of concentrated awareness of experience in poetry in true freestyle was profound.

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Comments

neopoet

5 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem constructs a narrative centered on a childhood memory, using the airport as a setting for bonding and wonder. The structure is consistent, employing rhymed couplets that provide a sense of cohesion and musicality. The rhyme scheme is largely maintained, though in a few places ("show just for me" / "his spirit was free"), the rhythm slightly stumbles, which could be smoothed for a more even flow.

Imagery is a notable strength, particularly in lines like "silver-winged dragons" and "the great metal beasts came in colors of bold." These metaphors elevate the airplanes beyond their literal forms, capturing a child's awe and imagination. The poem also effectively uses sensory details—the "roar of the engines," "shadows grew long," and "cool, watery grace"—to immerse the reader in the experience.

The relationship between the speaker and Buzzy is established through action and shared ritual rather than direct exposition, which allows the emotional resonance to emerge organically. The poem’s arc, from anticipation to fulfillment and then to gentle closure, mirrors the structure of a remembered day, lending the piece a satisfying narrative completeness.

The transition from the airport to the pool in the final stanzas introduces a shift in setting and mood. While this change underscores the theme of returning to the ordinary after an extraordinary experience, the metaphor "washing the airport right off of my face" could be interpreted as either a cleansing or a loss of the magical moment. Clarifying the intended emotional tone here could strengthen the conclusion.

Overall, the poem demonstrates a strong sense of place and relationship, with vivid imagery and a clear narrative progression. Attention to meter and clarification of the closing metaphor could further enhance its impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

L o v e w o r n

5 months 2 weeks ago

Neo about your comment:

Show just for me and his spirit was free is to slow it down.

Thanks for a nice critique.

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Let's Go to the Airport

Hello, Mark,

Oh, wow... when my five siblings and I were younger, my Dad would take us to a graveled open space on the far-side of the airport. We'd bring popcorn and kool-aid and make an evening of it. I remember the feeling of watching those giant birds - frightening and exciting all in one. To this day, I sometimes drive to that graveled area and feel very close to my father.

Wonderful poem and homage to your special uncle and this memory.

Thank you!