CRANK Up the volume...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a narrative of personal transformation, moving from fear and withdrawal to self-expression and agency. The structure is consistent, with mostly rhymed couplets, which lends a sense of cohesion and forward momentum. The rhyme is generally effective, though at times it feels slightly forced, as in “council” and “removal,” which do not quite rhyme and may momentarily disrupt the musicality.

The poem’s first stanzas establish a strong emotional atmosphere, using concrete actions (“ducked my head,” “made no contact”) to convey the speaker’s initial state of anxiety and self-protection. The phrase “kept my own council as I prepared / to meet with no others approval” is somewhat ambiguous; “council” may be a typographical error for “counsel,” and the syntax could be clarified for smoother reading.

Imagery is strongest when the poem shifts to the act of writing: “picked up a pencil and laid the words down / shed the garment of silence which made me drown.” This metaphor of silence as a suffocating garment is vivid and effective, and the transition from muteness to articulation is well-drawn.

The line “a demon on parchment, secrets poured out” is evocative, suggesting both the urgency and the catharsis of expression. The closing image, “I unseated the horseman without a doubt,” is more enigmatic. If this refers to one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, it introduces a grand, perhaps disproportionate, scale to the personal struggle described earlier. If the intent is to convey overcoming a powerful internal adversary, the metaphor could be clarified or grounded more firmly in the poem’s established imagery.

The poem’s tone is earnest and direct, with a clear arc from repression to release. The use of rhyme and meter is mostly consistent, though some lines are metrically irregular, which may be intentional to reflect the speaker’s emotional state, but can also disrupt the poem’s flow.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a journey from fear to self-assertion, with its strongest moments in the depiction of writing as liberation. Attention to clarity in word choice and metaphor, as well as continued refinement of rhyme and meter, could further strengthen the poem’s impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

I'm not sure I understand the last stanza - the wonders of speed - are you referring to amphetamines? And then the unseated horseman? 

I think the first two stanzas are the best, though council should be counsel. 

In the 3rd stanza you seem to slip into present tense. Perhaps 

Never showed vulnerability or fear

kept my face blank, suppressed the tear

lest my eyes should give me away 

and the rage of tender years betray

Don't we know it 😁

Nice rhythm and rhyme 👌

Only suggestion is to replace "vulnerability" with "weakness" in the first line of the third stanza.  I think it flows a little better.

This poem reminds me a bit of a scene from "A Knight's Tale" where Chaucer tells his captors that he will eviscerate them in fiction.  You did the same to your so called "family" in poetry.

I like what yoou have done with it very much,

No need to add anything with the title because we see it with the update.

Best, 

Mark

The last stanza really sums things up

Early, I found the wonders of speed
crafting my thoughts not to impede,
a demon on parchment, secrets poured out
I unseated the horseman without a doubt