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Oct 27, 2025
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If tomorrow never comes
If tomorrow never comes
I am not sure if I will be
Here tomorrow
If my father keeps me alive
Tomorrow I will be happy
I also know that I only live once
I won't live forever
So I must live my life
Every day to the fullest
We must choose peace
Not war
We must put our guns down
And stop training children to be soldiers
In the war
Children has the right to an education
Children have the right to be children
And to play with other children
Where it is safe
Give the children a roof over their heads
Feed those that are starving
Give the children some water for them to drink
Because they are dehydrated
Give the children a bed to sleep on
Give the children some clothes to wear
Stop child labor
Teach the children to pray
God keep the children alive every day
God wash the people's feet
God teach the people to fish for fish
People you can't live alone
You need friends in your live
Because without friends you will be
Living in Isolation
People use the gifts that God gave you
Don't let it go to waste
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem addresses themes of mortality, the value of life, and social responsibility, particularly toward children. The structure is free verse, with each line expressing a discrete thought or imperative. The poem moves from personal reflection on the uncertainty of tomorrow to broader calls for peace, compassion, and community.
The transition from the personal ("If tomorrow never comes / I am not sure if I will be / Here tomorrow") to the collective ("We must choose peace / Not war") is abrupt, which may be intentional to reflect the urgency of the issues raised. However, the poem could benefit from smoother transitions or connective imagery to unify these sections. The repetition of "children" in the middle section is effective in emphasizing the focus, but the listing of their needs becomes somewhat prosaic. Consider condensing or varying the language to maintain poetic momentum and avoid redundancy.
The poem employs direct address and imperative verbs ("Give the children…", "Stop child labor", "Teach the children to pray"), which create a sense of urgency and advocacy. However, the shift to religious appeals ("God keep the children alive every day", "God wash the people's feet") introduces a new register that is not fully integrated with the earlier secular appeals. Further development of this spiritual dimension, or a clearer connection between the poem's ethical and religious imperatives, could strengthen the overall coherence.
There are some grammatical inconsistencies ("Children has the right", "You need friends in your live") that may distract readers. Attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice would clarify the message.
The poem closes with advice about friendship and making use of one's gifts, returning to the theme of living life fully. This ending reinforces the poem's initial existential concerns but could be more impactful with more concrete imagery or a return to the motif of "tomorrow."
Overall, the poem is earnest and direct in its advocacy, but it would benefit from greater cohesion, more varied language, and attention to poetic devices such as imagery, rhythm, and metaphor.
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