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hippiemoon
hippiemoon
Oct 26, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 10/26/25 to11/01/25

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Missing you Again

I’m angry at you for leaving me. I’m angry I didn’t have more time with you. You never got to meet my boyfriend and all the raspberry pastries you loved are long expired. I want you to haunt me. I want glass to shatter, to see you in my corner in the middle of the night, to hear your voice whispering to me on a long day. I hope you’re reunited with your love up there. I hope it’s just like how it was in high school, every kiss, every dance, it’s just like when you were kids. Everything I do, I do for you, yet I still don’t know what my purpose is. I want to love the way you loved. I want to never give up on the people who love me, no matter how tired I am. I want love to surround me until one day it doesn’t, then I finally want to meet you again.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I haven’t been the same since my great grandmother died, and I miss her extra tonight. I know it’s not a great poem, but I just needed to put words on “paper” and wanted to share

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

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neopoet

neopoet

5 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem captures a raw and intimate emotional landscape, exploring grief, longing, and unresolved feelings toward a lost loved one. The directness of the language conveys a powerful immediacy, which can be effective in expressing personal pain. However, the poem might benefit from more varied imagery and metaphor to deepen the emotional resonance and avoid a straightforward narrative tone.

For instance, the desire for the departed to "haunt me" and the image of "glass to shatter" are evocative but could be expanded or connected more cohesively to the poem’s broader themes. The mention of raspberry pastries, while specific and tangible, feels somewhat isolated; integrating such concrete details more fluidly into the emotional arc might strengthen the poem’s impact.

The poem’s structure is a continuous flow of thoughts and feelings; experimenting with line breaks, stanza divisions, or shifts in rhythm could help emphasize key moments and create a more dynamic reading experience. Additionally, exploring the tension between anger and love more explicitly through contrasting imagery or metaphor could add complexity.

Overall, focusing on sharpening the poem’s imagery and structural elements may enhance its emotional depth and provide readers with a more immersive and nuanced experience of the speaker’s grief and hope.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

5 months 3 weeks ago

I felt...

the rawness of the hurt, the absence of a solid relationship and I understand the need to just get something down. That's okay, I have done that myself and very often find a line that I have 'saved' can be used or reworked to fit another poem. I do find, that on occasion, the poem I started with does not wind up the way I thought. I wonder if... Nah...   All that aside, I am sorry for your loss, ~ Geez.

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