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This poem is part of the challenge:

10/25 Under The Influence

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Yours truly a tried and true (no Keaton) Philly buster

boot not so suburb (superb)

Prone to bloviation pure and simple
rides on figurative high horse,
which doubles up as my Plymouth Duster
analogous to General George Armstrong Custer
(blowing his i.e. mine little big horn)
anonymous readers I unwittingly fluster
poetic patina an artificial, superficial,
yet beneficial ego boosting luster
one mister re: man can muster.

I (no surprise) become
self absorbed with
my own palaver drum
ming across the screen written from
me, (an average happy go lucky)
goose stepping honk
key tonk king Crimson and clover
Caucasian man hum
bull despite being imagine dragons,
an infinite string of superlative adjectives
jumbling together to accentuate Lum
burr jack ambitions comfortably numb
when modest male
just another brick in the wall
scores of decades during plum
years of mein kampf
watching favorite television programs
in boyhood living rum
while bobbing like a sponge
(donned in square pants)
sprawled on my washboard tum.

No inflated cheekiness for logophile,
whose tongue in cheek
peculiar literary penchant afflicts
no one else, cuz I happen to be lucky - ha
and experience being
on the receiving end of the apothegm
suffer fools gladly,
which linguistic passion
not just for words spoken,
but also languages
that incorporate clicks
renown throughout the webbed wide world
(particularly within many African nations)
when dominoes fall after another
faintly resembling miniature oil derricks
even when viewed from afar
can be seen how humanity inflicts
environmental degradation
for his capitalized, fetishized,
industrialized pro licks
poetic shenanigans ad nauseam.

I comport myself with quiet pridefulness,
plus intellectual whimsy
aware that "FAKE" pretentiousness,
could be mistaken
foreign egotistical curriculum vitae
furthering, feathering and figuratively
undermining jestingly,
poetically, and zealously
oozing, gushing, bubbling over
with faux snobbish suave re:
pulse sieve literary fatuous
haughtiness, and ludicrous narcissistic pre
ning all the while chuckling to me
self, and indifferent if
some anonymous browser
with Dutchman's breeches rolled up
upon cresting wave over Zyder Zee
disparages mine harmless
badinage, hence if ye
might qualify as such nit
picker, who doth cavil - dee
crying wading thru
quagmire of verbiage,
a gentle reply to thee
might be more wise to turn energy
toward, how in many another country
the village people haint so free
spouting, sporting, and spoiling,
vis a vis intellectual sparring
(albeit innocent) black
barbs hatch chee
ving, and raising urgent
attention against he,
(who whiz squelching
constitutional rights) re:
pressing, rescinding, reviling,
et cetera access toward key
underpinnings within these fifty
constituent United States
of America beckon alacrity
for obliging citizens across
all points of the compass to alee
v8 his indiscriminate fleecing,
sans bedrock nation could teeter
on the brink of calamity,
which political plug quite inadequate
to staunch hemorrhaging,
viz upending many a sacred liberty,
and foo to you reprimanding
against any agree
gee us objection to pen
about polly lee ticks and/or religion!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

5 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a dense, allusive, and linguistically playful meditation on identity, language, and sociopolitical concerns. The energetic, stream-of-consciousness style evokes a kind of verbal improvisation that challenges readers to parse its intricate wordplay and cultural references.

Strengths: - The poem’s ambitious interweaving of historical, literary, and musical allusions (e.g., General Custer, King Crimson, “just another brick in the wall,” “Mein Kampf”) creates a layered texture that rewards close reading. - The use of internal rhyme, assonance, and consonance contributes to a musicality that animates the poem’s rapid shifts in tone and subject. - The self-reflexive commentary on poetic ego, linguistic passion, and the role of the poet adds a meta-poetic dimension that enriches the thematic complexity.

Areas for development: 1. **Clarity and accessibility:** The poem’s density and frequent neologisms or portmanteaus (e.g., “palaver drum ming,” “key tonk king Crimson and clover”) can obscure meaning and disrupt reader engagement. Consider balancing linguistic inventiveness with moments of clearer imagery or narrative to anchor the reader. 2. **Structural coherence:** The poem reads as a sprawling monologue with shifting registers and fragmented syntax. Introducing more intentional stanza breaks or thematic pivots could help organize the poem’s flow and highlight key ideas. 3. **Punctuation and line breaks:** The unconventional punctuation and enjambment sometimes create confusion about where phrases begin and end. More consistent use of punctuation might enhance readability without sacrificing the poem’s dynamic rhythm. 4. **Tone and voice consistency:** The poem oscillates between playful, ironic, and earnest tones. Clarifying the speaker’s stance—whether satirical, self-mocking, or serious—would strengthen the poem’s emotional impact and rhetorical force. 5. **Engagement with political content:** The latter sections touch on important political and social issues (e.g., constitutional rights, repression), but these moments feel compressed and somewhat opaque. Expanding or clarifying these passages could deepen the poem’s critical resonance.

Overall, the poem’s inventive language and thematic ambition are compelling, but refining its clarity and structure would enhance its communicative power and reader accessibility.

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