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Stubborn man
Stubborn man
Is living free
He can live the way he wants
He doesn't want people
To tell him what todo
That is one thing
That he hates
He is already a senior
People tell stubborn man
That he should give some of his money
To God
He gets upset with that
That is something he won't do
Another thing he is an atheist
Also he hates when people
Mention God to him
Also he doesn't have faith in God
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem presents a character study of a “stubborn man” who resists external expectations, particularly those related to faith and charity. The straightforward diction and repetition of ideas (“He doesn’t want people / To tell him what todo,” “he hates when people / Mention God to him”) emphasize the man’s inflexibility and reinforce the central theme.
The poem’s structure is linear and direct, with each line or couplet introducing a new facet of the character’s resistance. However, the poem’s language remains largely expository, telling the reader about the man’s feelings rather than showing them through imagery, metaphor, or action. This approach limits the reader’s ability to engage with the character on a deeper, more emotional level.
The poem could benefit from more specific details or sensory language that illustrate the man’s stubbornness in action. For example, instead of stating “He gets upset with that,” the poem could depict a scene where he reacts to a request, allowing the reader to observe his behavior and draw their own conclusions. Additionally, the repeated references to his atheism and dislike of God-related topics could be condensed or varied to avoid redundancy and to create a more dynamic rhythm.
The line “To tell him what todo” contains a typographical error (“todo” should be “to do”), which interrupts the flow and could be revised for clarity.
Overall, the poem establishes a clear character and theme but would be strengthened by employing more evocative language, reducing repetition, and incorporating concrete details or scenes. This would allow the poem to move beyond summary and invite the reader into the stubborn man’s world.
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