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Oct 01, 2025
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A ballad for John Lennon
You tried hard enough to change the world
You tried hard to send a message to the world with all your songs
You were an activist
The kind that the world needed
I don't think that the world was ready for you
But you worked hard
to send the message anyway
Because you believed deep in your heart that it would do
The world had been falling apart for sometime
You kept working hard to bring the world closer
You first attenpt had failed
So you kept on trying
And you did
You were persistent
And in your mind you thought that you would achieve it somehow
You knew that peace
Was what the world needed
You worked towards peace
You wanted so badly to make peace with the world and the people
People misunderstood you
26 years later all the messages that was written in all the songs
You had composed lives on forever
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is an old poem Written by me For John Lennon
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem takes a direct and earnest approach to commemorating John Lennon’s activism and ideals. The structure is free verse, with lines of varying lengths and a conversational tone. The poem’s focus is on Lennon’s persistence and the enduring nature of his message, particularly regarding peace.
The poem’s language is straightforward, which makes the message clear but also limits the emotional and imaginative impact. There is frequent repetition of phrases such as “You tried hard,” “You worked hard,” and “You kept working hard,” which emphasizes Lennon’s persistence but risks becoming redundant. Consider varying the language or using imagery to evoke the sense of effort and struggle more vividly.
The poem relies on telling rather than showing. For example, lines like “You were an activist / The kind that the world needed” state facts without offering specific examples or sensory details that could bring Lennon’s activism to life. Incorporating references to particular songs, events, or moments from Lennon’s life could ground the poem and make it more evocative.
There are some grammatical inconsistencies, such as “You first attenpt had failed” (should be “Your first attempt had failed”) and “all the messages that was written” (should be “that were written”). Attention to grammar and word choice would help the poem read more smoothly.
The ending attempts to create a sense of legacy with “all the messages that was written in all the songs / You had composed lives on forever,” but the phrasing is awkward. Reworking the conclusion for clarity and rhythm could strengthen the poem’s impact.
Overall, the poem’s sincerity is evident, but it would benefit from more concrete imagery, varied language, and careful attention to grammar and structure. Engaging more deeply with Lennon’s life and music through specific references could create a more powerful tribute.
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