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I kid you not dear reader...

and a lesson about pi (π) to boot
whether or not you give a hoot
and I betcha thee never foresaw
how I captcha
that above identified representation
would be incorporated
with poetry until yours truly
came into the scene,
but similar to the importance of pi (π)
thee my friend cannot escape
the omnipresent application
of valuable tidbit
unless of course we make an art of the deal,
whereat you fork over so much loot,
but knowing that thee author of these words
will NOT be writhing in cognitive dissonance,
as he claims to do one action,
but willy nilly does another
just like impossible mission
to escape the notion of square root,
WHAT, who do you think you might be kidding,
and pass up a golden opportunity
to wreak havoc
within noggin of anonymous sufferer
who will NOT be radical
and expound with gumption
upon the √ symbol,
(neither fat nor slim chance
yours truly – me will let thee
off the hook without eating my words,
especially feeling thee
squirming within mine grasp)
used to denote square root or nth roots,
whereby square root a number
that, when multiplied by itself,
produces a given number
illustrated by following example,
whereat the square root of 9 equals 3
because 3 multiplied
by itself (3 x 3) equals 9,
and square root operation
the inverse of squaring a number.

Not a single person "discovered" pi;
rather, the mathematical constant π (pi)
recognized and approximated independently
by mathematicians across different cultures
and time periods
from ancient Greeks,
including Archimedes,
who developed sophisticated geometrical methods
to approximate pi's value,
characterized as essential for practical
and theoretical applications, whereas
later mathematicians,
such as the Chinese scholar Zu Chongzhi,
built upon these methods
to achieve even greater accuracy.

Once again for the umpteenth time
like an awful nightmare
recurring like non-repeating decimal
such as pi (π) ala mode - ha,
the unchanging mathematical constant
represents ratio of a circle's circumference
(the distance around it) to diameter
(the distance across it through the center),
and no matter the size of the circle,
said ratio always the same,
approximately 3.14159,
NOT the value of 22/7
above denoted fraction
represents commonly used
rational approximation for π
an infinite, non-repeating number
called an irrational number
and because illustrious symbol
ranks as an irrational number,
the decimal representation
goes on infinitely
without any repeating pattern,
unlike rational numbers,
which have decimals
that either terminate
(like 1/4 = 0.25) or repeat
in a predictable sequence
(like 1/3 = 0.333...),
pi's digits never settle
into finite mathematical arrangement
unlike male pattern baldness.

Now if you will politely excuse
I need to contact all vendors/
merchants linkedin to newest card
in order update payment method
within a timely fashion
after substantial balance
in new account adequate
lest necessary products and services
brought to a crashing halt.

The list of agencies that warrant
urgent and immediate attention
at the mercy of bank colleague
gohar dot mukhtarzada at sign
citizensbank dot com,
and for ease of sparing
getting the client
(such as myself in this case),
she refers to herself as Jojo,
and now I feel linkedin at her mercy
since issues regarding fraud,
and squaring away
closing one checking account
and creating a new one,
the domain within her expertise,
and must wait until Monday September 22nd
two thousand and twenty five
before tending to the adventurous, enormous,
fortuitous, gracious, humungous,
illustrious, judicious, onerous,
and tedious task more difficult
than threading a camel
thru the eye of a (quite sizable) needle
(been there done that).

Truth be told after
the unwelcome webbed,
wide world series of unfortunate events
(where checking account subjected
to fraudulent activity
to the tune of thousands of dollars,
(or try whistling said statement to Dixie),
no matter how many time
user name and password change –
the virtual interloper stealthily robbed me
prodding one angry as a red bull netizen
to culminate notifying the billing office
(if unable or unwilling
to tackle the task of replacing
vis a vis modus operandi
with fresh spanking new debit card),
yet completing the process
for countless websites
linkedin with revised payment method
could almost be done
when asleep with hands
tied behind my back.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

7 months ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem ambitiously intertwines mathematical exposition with personal narrative, creating a hybrid form that challenges conventional poetic boundaries. The extended metaphor of pi and square roots serves as a backbone, yet the piece reads more like a stream-of-consciousness essay than a cohesive poem. The conversational tone and colloquial phrases ("betcha," "willy nilly," "been there done that") lend immediacy but sometimes disrupt the flow and poetic rhythm.

The poem’s strength lies in its inventive attempt to blend technical explanation with humor and personal frustration, especially in the latter sections dealing with banking woes and identity theft. However, the shifts between abstract mathematical concepts and concrete personal experiences occasionally feel abrupt, which may disorient readers seeking thematic or tonal consistency.

Structurally, the poem lacks clear stanza breaks or consistent meter, which could be intentional but results in a sprawling, dense block of text that challenges readability. Introducing deliberate line breaks or stanzas might help emphasize key ideas and provide breathing space for reflection.

The use of archaic pronouns ("thee," "thou") contrasts with modern slang and technical jargon, creating a stylistic tension that could be refined for clarity and effect. Some lines, such as those explaining the square root, verge on didactic, which may detract from the poetic impact.

Overall, the poem would benefit from tighter editing to balance its informative content with poetic devices—such as imagery, metaphor, and rhythm—to enhance engagement and emotional resonance. Clarifying the central message or emotional throughline could also help unify the diverse elements presented.

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