Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Let It Slide
When I start feeling low you see
There is only one thing I need
When blade and skin collide
I let it slide
Let it slide
Nothing like the feel
Of cold steel
When I need to heal
I don't want to take a pill
When I start feeling low you see
There is only one thing I need
When blade and skin collide
I let it slide
Let it slide
I always wear long sleeves
That way no one can see
The scars that are on me
How I set my pain free
I know one night I'll go to deep
Won't wake up when I fall asleep
Then maybe people will see
All the pain I had in me
When I start feeling low you see
There is only one thing I need
When blade and skin collide
I let it slide
Let it slide
When I start feeling low you see
There is only one thing I need
When blade and skin collide
I let it slide
Let it slide
Let it slide
Let it slide
Let
It
Slide
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is a song I wrote.
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores deeply personal and painful themes related to self-harm and emotional distress. The repetition of the phrase "Let it slide" serves as a refrain that underscores the cyclical nature of the speaker's struggle, effectively creating a haunting rhythm that mirrors the persistence of their pain.
Structurally, the poem uses simple rhyme and meter, which lends a song-like quality that contrasts with the gravity of the subject matter. This contrast can be powerful, but it also risks simplifying complex emotions. Consider varying the rhythm or introducing more nuanced language to deepen the emotional texture and avoid potential monotony.
The imagery of "blade and skin collide" is stark and visceral, conveying the physical reality of self-harm without being overly graphic. However, the poem might benefit from more metaphorical or symbolic language to explore the underlying emotions and thoughts driving the behavior. This could provide readers with a richer understanding of the speaker's internal world.
The stanza about wearing long sleeves to hide scars is a poignant moment that reveals the tension between concealment and the desire for recognition. Expanding on this could add complexity to the speaker's relationship with their pain and how they navigate social perceptions.
The closing lines hint at suicidal ideation, which is a critical and sensitive topic. If the poem aims to raise awareness or foster empathy, consider integrating moments of hope, resilience, or the possibility of seeking help. This could balance the depiction of despair and offer a more layered narrative.
Overall, the poem's directness is impactful, but exploring more varied poetic devices—such as metaphor, imagery, and varied syntax—could enhance its emotional resonance and depth. Additionally, careful attention to the ethical implications of portraying self-harm and suicidal thoughts is important to ensure the poem is responsible and supportive to readers who might relate to its themes.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
5 months 1 week ago
Dear Depressed1
I understand this is a song you wrote...excellent work! But, I hope you will be back with us soon....and you did Not "Let It Slide!"
much love, Cat
ever, eddy styx