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Rhetoric

Volumes of thought race through
simplistic, conniving minds.
Communique sport is a ravishing trip.
Up with conundrum a rhetorical script.
Old school politics are long since forgotten,
but the river is rising up over its banks.
And soon all will know desolation’s foul scent!
So bring us your poor, your weak and your masses.
We'll dash them with words,
without batting an eyelash.

— Leslie, Dec 09, 2023

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

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Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem engages with the theme of manipulative or empty rhetoric, particularly in political contexts. The diction—“simplistic, conniving minds,” “ravishing trip,” and “rhetorical script”—establishes a critical tone toward those who wield language as a tool for obfuscation or control. The image of the “river…rising up over its banks” introduces a sense of impending crisis, suggesting that unchecked rhetoric has tangible, destructive consequences.

The poem’s structure is free verse, which suits the subject matter, allowing for abrupt shifts in imagery and tone. The line “So bring us your poor, your weak and your masses” alludes to the Statue of Liberty’s inscription, but the poem subverts this symbol of welcome by immediately following it with “We’ll dash them with words, / without batting an eyelash.” This juxtaposition is effective in highlighting the contrast between public ideals and the reality of rhetorical violence.

One area for potential development is the transition between the abstract (“Volumes of thought race through / simplistic, conniving minds”) and the more concrete imagery (“the river is rising up over its banks”). Strengthening the connective tissue between these ideas could clarify the poem’s argument and heighten its emotional impact. Additionally, the phrase “Communique sport is a ravishing trip” is somewhat opaque; clarifying or expanding on this metaphor might help anchor the reader more firmly in the poem’s critique.

Overall, the poem’s tone and imagery work together to deliver a pointed commentary on the power and danger of rhetoric, especially when used cynically. Further refinement of certain metaphors and transitions could enhance the poem’s clarity and resonance.

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