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Rhetoric!
Volumes of thought race through
simplistic, conniving minds.
Communique sport is a ravishing trip.
Up with conundrum a rhetorical script.
Old school politics are long since forgotten,
but the river is rising up over its banks.
And soon all will know desolation’s foul scent!
So, bring us your poor, your weak and your masses.
We'll dash them with words,
without batting an eyelash!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Politics, politics, politics.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 month 1 week ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem takes aim at the manipulative nature of political rhetoric, using vivid imagery and a tone that borders on the sardonic. The opening lines, “Volumes of thought race through / simplistic, conniving minds,” immediately establish a contrast between the appearance of intellectual depth and the reality of shallow cunning. This tension is reinforced by phrases like “Communique sport is a ravishing trip,” which suggest that communication has become a game rather than a vehicle for truth.
The poem’s structure is loosely conversational, with enjambment that propels the reader forward, mirroring the relentless pace of political discourse. The line “Up with conundrum a rhetorical script” is syntactically inverted, which creates a sense of confusion and complexity—perhaps intentionally reflecting the obfuscation often present in rhetoric.
The metaphor of the rising river—“the river is rising up over its banks”—serves as a warning of impending disaster, linking the consequences of empty rhetoric to real-world destruction. The reference to “desolation’s foul scent” intensifies the sense of doom.
The allusion to Emma Lazarus’s “The New Colossus” (“bring us your poor, your weak and your masses”) is subverted here, as the poem suggests these groups will be “dashed...with words, / without batting an eyelash!” This twist critiques the betrayal of ideals through language, highlighting the violence that can be enacted through speech.
For further development, consider clarifying the tone—whether it leans more toward satire or genuine lament. Some lines, such as “Communique sport is a ravishing trip,” could benefit from more concrete imagery or a clearer connection to the poem’s central metaphor. The poem might also explore more specific examples or consequences of rhetorical manipulation to deepen its emotional impact.
Overall, the poem effectively conveys cynicism about political language, using metaphor and allusion to underscore its critique. Attention to clarity and specificity could further strengthen its message.
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