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Rhetoric

Volumes of thought race through
double tongued lips.

Communique sport a ravishing
trip.

Up with conundrum a rhetorical
script.

Old school poitics forgotten long
since.

But the river is rising up over it's
banks.

And soon all will know desolations
foul stench!

So bring us your poor, your weak and
your masses.

We'll dash them to pieces with the
words that we speak!

— Leslie, Dec 09, 2023

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Politics as usual. Sorry about the puctuation I hope that the meaning is understood.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem “Rhetoric” explores the power and duplicity of language, particularly in political contexts. The opening lines, “Volumes of thought race through / double tongued lips,” immediately establish a tone of suspicion and critique, suggesting that speech is both abundant and deceptive. The phrase “double tongued” is effective in evoking the idea of dishonesty or manipulation.

The poem’s structure is fragmentary, with short lines and enjambment that create a sense of urgency and disjointedness, mirroring the chaotic nature of the rhetoric being described. The use of phrases like “Communique sport a ravishing / trip” and “Up with conundrum a rhetorical / script” is somewhat ambiguous, and the syntax here is challenging. While this ambiguity can be a strength, inviting multiple interpretations, it may also risk obscuring meaning for the reader. Clarifying the imagery or intent in these lines could strengthen the poem’s impact.

The poem shifts to a broader societal critique with “Old school poitics forgotten long / since,” suggesting a loss of traditional values or methods. The metaphor of the river rising “over its / banks” introduces a sense of impending crisis, which is further amplified by the line “And soon all will know desolations / foul stench!” This vivid image effectively conveys the destructive consequences of unchecked rhetoric.

The final lines, “So bring us your poor, your weak and / your masses. / We’ll dash them to pieces with the / words that we speak!” subvert the famous inscription on the Statue of Liberty, turning a message of welcome into one of violence and exclusion. This reversal is powerful and chilling, highlighting the poem’s central concern with the weaponization of language.

Consider refining some of the poem’s more opaque phrases to ensure the imagery and message remain accessible. Attention to punctuation and line breaks could also help clarify meaning and enhance the poem’s rhythm. The poem’s critique of rhetoric and its consequences is clear and forceful, and with some tightening of language, the poem could achieve even greater resonance.

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