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Oct 08, 2023
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This poem is part of the challenge:
October 2023 Challenge Date night with Freddy Krueger
A Date With Freddy Krueger
I'm going on a date with Freddy Krueger
Dreams have never been so scary
I'm not sure what to expect
But I know it won't be merry
A visit to Freddy's boiler room
A night so full of dread
I'm sure there's no escaping
Whatever he has in his head
He'll take me on a twisted journey
Through a world of morbid dreams
The things I'll see, I can't imagine
It's much more than it seems
My heart is beating fast
My body trembling and weak
But I know I must go through this
If I ever want to get through the week
I look for ways to get protection
I see his fingers that are knives
And move to shield myself
Wondering how many have lost their lives
So here I am on a date with Freddy Krueger
I'm ready for whatever comes my way
I'm sure it won't be an easy night
But I'll do whatever it takes to get away
— Clentin, Oct 08, 2023
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
Ruby Lord
2 years 8 months ago
I liked your ending, it
I liked your ending, it caught me by surprise. It's a good poem, and a good read. The only point I picked up on was a word repeated in two lines:
He'll take me on a twisted journey
Through a world of twisted dreams
Perhaps the repetition of the word twisted so close in the sentences can be improved by a different word? Wretched, morbid, traumatic, dreams? Ruby :)
Clentin Martin
2 years 8 months ago
You are right. I edited using
You are right. I edited using morbid in the second line. I like your suggestion.
Thank you very much