Balance.

My brain is not so balanced, so quiet and loud at the same time, so clean and messy at the same time, they love eachother but hate eachother all at once.
I wish for a balance between calm and pain.
Ive never felt so tired in my short long yet to live life i have.
So much can drive me to place to place inside my brain, so little can make me stuck in a bed im so famillair with.
Im ready to go travel new places or sink into nothingness for weeks. i
Im so committed to that relationship or end it like it meant nothing to me.
A never ending voice shapeshifting into my own voice and emotion of self hatred screaming and hollering at me.
I wish my brain had a balance between calm and pain.