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Sep 03, 2022
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Go Away
<p>Such a waste of time just go away You did me wrong why do I need to beg you to stay Not only did you do me wrong You wasted my time Now your mad at me sir Your way out of line All those times you cheated and I forgave you I must admit you had me fooled Now I teach little kids about people like you</p>
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 2 months ago
Your title...
is good for the piece, your language is equally so. The subject is a little ambiguous, but intelligible enough, to show that
someone has hurt you and you wish to be free of their presence. I'm not sure about how the poem ends, because I don't see how or why you should teach little kids about what happened. The form makes it hard to read, so you should make it read in lines vertically. Don't give up but think a little more carefully about your subject rather than just making rhyme. ~ Geezer.
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