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Jul 19, 2022
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Anxiety
Watery eyes,
clenched teeth,
tense shoulders.
There it is again-
that subtle pain behind my right shoulder blade.
I feel my hair brush against my ear,
blanket too hot,
shorts crooked.
The single light in this room
has rainbow rays through the tears...
Why is it buzzing so loud?
I listen to myself breathe.
It’s getting faster now.
It’s all so loud!
...
I shuffle to find my safe space:
I write.
Pen on paper,
Scratches to script.
My hand on the page
shaking, now gliding.
The smell of ink,
sweet and familiar.
It is written,
It is quiet again.
— Kristen H., Jul 19, 2022
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About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
RoseBlack
3 years 10 months ago
Hi Kristen
I felt every bit of this poem. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and have experienced everything you described. Another emotive, honest write. Well done.
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
Thank you!
Thank you! Writing is my remedy so sometimes poems like this come out. It's the raw truth of what happened on a random night a few months ago.
Texas Jim Reyna
3 years 10 months ago
Anxiety
You convey the mood of axiety. The movement gives off a scary vibe for me. It's like the writer is manic. But he is calmed down by writing.
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
Perfect!
That's exactly the vibe I was going for, so thank you!
Geezer
3 years 10 months ago
Wow!...
I am also a person that loves being alone to write and get rid of the thoughts that bother me. Sometimes, I post them!
The things that you see here, are mostly the leftovers of what comes about from selecting only what I want people know. So, I get it. I think that people like you are very brave to expose themselves as you do. I noticed the things that bother you, like the shorts twisted, the strands of hair and the buzzing light. All those things make for a great write, descripting the scene is a great way to help the reader see. Excellent! ~ Geezer.
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Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
Thank you!
It's difficult to put experiences like this into writing sometimes, but I tried my best to describe it. Thank you so much!
Candlewitch
3 years 10 months ago
dear kristten,
writing is my way of beating the world to keep it back. it loves to encroach. I love what you have written here. I feel a kin-ship.
*hugs, Cat
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
:)
I love writing things that other people can relate to! Although, this is not the type of experience I would wish on anyone. I'm thankful that we have both found our remedies. Thank you so much!
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years 10 months ago
Panic attacks
Are the worst ever. Even fully aware of what’s going on it’s just frightening. Knowing I’m having a panic attack doesn’t really stop them. Luckily, I’m having them very sparsely of late. This is really spot on. It is loud like a tornado and it is like it just passes and gets quiet again after.
Well written
Tim
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
I agree!
They are the worst. I have found a few things that have helped me through them. An app called Finch, breathing exercises, grounding, music, and writing. Depending on where I am or what I'm doing, I'll use these to help me get back to reality. In this case, it was writing.
Thank you!! :)
Ray Whitaker
3 years 10 months ago
Interesting piece
the portrayal of anxiety is thorough.
a suggestion: decrease the use of white space, group some lines together -those that are continuation of a thought. IMHO, this would make the poem more readable.
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
Thank you
Thank you for the suggestion. I typically group my lines together but when I type out my poems, I typically space them as I wrote them, give or take a few adjustments. I tried to keep this one as authentic as I wrote it originally. I appreciate the feedback!
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years 10 months ago
Choppiness
I like the choppiness. It reminds me of the uncontrollably quick, illogical, incomplete monologue of myself mid panic. I would argue that it lends to the effectiveness in this particular case but…I would tend to agree with Ray in most other cases.
Tim
Kristen H.
3 years 10 months ago
Thank you
Thank you! I do typically group my lines together more than I did with this one, as Ray suggested. The spacing was intentional because that was how I wrote it when I was mid-anxiety attack. I tried to keep it as authentic as possible, give or take a few adjustments to the words so it was actually comprehensible. I appreciate the feedback!