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Sep 09, 2021
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On first teaching( Butterflies in my stomach challenge)
First day of class
How many students
Ah the schedule says twelve
They have come to learn
but can I teach
they know nothing of writing but I do
I speak and I am a voice
outside of me
do they know I am as nervous as they?
Ah but the butterflies are still there
although they do not show
my heart is beating louder than a drum
can they hear it as well?
It s their first day as well as mine
but we will both
survive
— c lynn brooks, Sep 09, 2021
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
Geezer
4 years 10 months ago
Where is...
the line that makes it part of the challenge? Nervous might be described as shaky knees, rubber-legs, palpitations, etc. I see nothing about butterflies in the stomach. ~ Gee.
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c lynn brooks
4 years 10 months ago
Gee
hmmm you are right going to revise that a bit
Geezer
4 years 10 months ago
Nice...
Now, what about changing the first line of the last stanza? Instead of: [as well as], how about, "It is their first day, like mine..."
~ Geez.
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c lynn brooks
4 years 10 months ago
Gee
Thanks for the suggestions Yes I made some changes now it reflects the challenge
Geezer
4 years 10 months ago
Nicely done...
I see that you added your own flavor to it and I think it's better than my suggestion. ~ Geez.
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