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Jul 12, 2020
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White Sails
White Sails
gleaming in the sun
slow motion rider
your journey has just begun
The breaking waves upon the wall
miniature spouts of whales to recall
A freighter out on the horizon
where is it bound
sandpipers scurry as they dodge the waves
The seagulls cry and shatter the calm
still they are a part of this glorious song
something is missing in all of this beauty
that something and someone is you
— c lynn brooks, Jul 12, 2020
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: written while visiting. I cannot say who I was missing at the time my brother(now deceased) as I watched from his porch I could see the bay meet the river then meet the ocean
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
c lynn brooks
6 years ago
Teddy
thank you. yes I love the ocean in fact the title of my first book is the lady is an ocean
Gracy
6 years ago
Dear lynn, such a lovely poem
Dear lynn, such a lovely poem. The imagery is beautiful, the title perfect. I love it. I also love the sea. Below, a few suggestions for neater verses, to TorT.
Seagulls cry and shatter the calm
still they're part of this glorious song
something is missing in all of this beauty,
I know 'tis you.
(that something and someone is you)
Hope you don't mind, all the best, Gracy
c lynn brooks
6 years ago
Gracy
thank you for the suggestions
I cheated this poem is already in print it being summer I thought it appropriate
jetz
6 years ago
This is lovely
You can't go wrong with ocean and song. I feel as if I have read this before.
Perhaps it the images you paint with your words. All things I love.
Very nice.
Sue
Not that anyone asked but my vote is no on the 'tis. Sorry Gracy.
c lynn brooks
6 years ago
jetz
you may very well have see above for explanation thank you for reading
raj
6 years ago
Hi Chrys
Thanks for pulling this poem out of print...that's why we could read it...
i would like to point out that there are two "are"s in the line "still they're are a part of this glorious song"...is it delibeate or through oversight?
be well..
c lynn brooks
6 years ago
raj
thanks for catching that and for the read will make repairs now
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