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lovedly
lovedly
Nov 28, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Walk as an Image

Re-REVISED VERSION COURTESY STAN LEADER and Mark of Neopoet

I Walk as an Image
on the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am just an imagery
of a candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day and night

all glare at me walking
but none wants to speak
a ghost am I
or just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech

I continue strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach

come some one rescue me
if you want to read
more poetry of Neo's
Lovedly

— lovedly, Nov 28, 2018

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

More from this author

Critiques

S

scribbler

7 years 6 months ago

Hi Loved

I have become lazy now that I can copy and paste lol. So I'll just post your poem with a few changes and let you decide if you like them or not.
I Walk as an Image
at the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am a mere image
of candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day into the night

all see me walking
but none speak with me
a ghost am I
perhaps just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech

I continue
strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach

come someone rescue me
if you want to read
more of Loverme's
poetry

lovedly

lovedly

7 years 6 months ago

thank you stan

after a long time you have come
o man
shall amend after some more read it
And of course all with you shall agree
So I will change it
thanks rgds
loverme

R

raj

7 years 6 months ago

Hi Lovedly

I was drawn by the title of the poem and liked the first stanza which is a poem by itself...
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