It is quiet again

There is a quiet that cannot be filled.
The songs of time are memories
Filling the air with make believe,
If only there was a continuation.

I asked the universe what is happening.
It replied to me in quiet tones
A purpose has been removed
A need must be found for think.

I understand you, I said to the universe
It is late, and I must hurry
Before winter quiets my mind
Just believe, it will happen it said

It is me, I said that patience has left.
I used your energy and failed
I failed to bring all of me in.
Now I have to withdraw inward

We will help you find a new pathway
They sent me a bouquet
The perfume lost my thoughts
Tangled for a while it did.

They talk of the road less travelled
It is because I only need
I walk with you once always
There on the beaches we are.

My now is fixed to a new pathway
I retain all those memories
Rejoice with me once more
Eternity awaits another walk

— Sparrow, Aug 19, 2018

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Monday Morning !

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Wordsworth, and most I have read., This month My pic is a modern painting of a Sparrow that I have decoupaged, The artist was not mentioned but many thanks to the one that made the original..

Critiques

gregwa8

7 years 9 months ago

"There is a quiet that cannot

"There is a quiet that cannot be filled." A beautiful line. Seems like a poem about the conflict between a whispering past and a future that is calling, also tentatively, like a whisper. A nice read.

Sparrow

7 years 9 months ago

Greg

Thank you very much for you comment, probably a conflict as you saw, but I seem to be getting more of these the older I get lol.
I expect memories become entangled with the present and then there is their meaning, just me I guess as do many people judging the past with present dreams..
Take care out there and thanks again,
Yours Ian ..

Seren

7 years 9 months ago

Ello Da

You know I've already read this one. I was also stilled by that first line it's really a beaut way to start this poem. It's filled with a deep yearning and I love this poem love love it. Kudos I love that first line wish it was mine lol

Love always Jaughter xxx

Sparrow

7 years 9 months ago

Jayne

Yes I may have sent this one to you or put on Face book but not all on Neo read my face Book page let alone comment on the ones I put here.
I have sent a PM to you that will make the words seem clearer,
Take care and many thanks for commenting anyway.
Yours as always DA xx

scribbler

7 years 9 months ago

Hi Ian

The first stanza of this poem could easily stand alone....well done

Sparrow

7 years 9 months ago

Stan

Great to see you here, maybe I will have to have some stress to write better pieces lol
Hope we see some more of your world before the winters snow..
I think that I need a cup full of energy on my think side, I shall ask the children to pop in and help..
Take care out there and good to walk with you for a moment.
Yours as always Ian..