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The Lover Man

The sun would wait before it sun down
such elegant appearance,
is just passing by,
it will attract a lot
of eye ball
attention.
a heavy weight champion beauty queen,
My love is heavier than the armors
i am certainly sure,
i shall fight your battles
i will break down all your foes
you shall see victory
in my eyes
when i see you again

— Mallory, May 23, 2018

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria abjua, NGA

Favorite Poets: Christopher Okigbo. Williams Shakespeare. J.P Clark. Wole Soyinka

More from this author

Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

8 years ago

Hi,

Welcome to the site!

Your content is good but you lost me
on the delivery ... advise; write your
words to express the music of language.

First sentence, it doesn't make sense the
way it is written, important to grab your
reader from the beginning.