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This poem is part of the workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

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A Journey (into Sunku)

I move
As the wind
I seek you there

A place
We both know
For us to share.

Hold me
As you dream
I will be there..

— Sparrow, Feb 22, 2018

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Love this way of writing..

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Wordsworth, and most I have read., This month My pic is a modern painting of a Sparrow that I have decoupaged, The artist was not mentioned but many thanks to the one that made the original..

More from this author

Critiques

IRiz

IRiz

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you for your lovely poem

I like it.
May i suggest to try to add more content, perhaps some images that would define the place a little more?
The poems feels like wanders of a ghost in love.
Is it a breeze or a stormy overwhelming gale?

IRiz

IRiz

8 years 3 months ago

Very good comment. I feel we

Very good comment. I feel we are on the same page.
Notice that you can select an option to mark your comment as a workshop critic. Please do it for me. I want your comments be more noticeable.