OUT OF THIS WORLD

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This is me ("Feb Contest")

I became aware
There in the evening of my time
I looked at things past
I had to smile no chaos

I watched for many years
There the world turned
It was kind to my ways
Quiet thoughtful days.

Now as night comes
It seeks to bend my time
I resist saying I am fine
These days are the best.

I watched as stars shone
They have always stayed for me
Twinkling in the night
The sun shone during the day

I was warmed deep inside
Yet travelled alone as always
Giving, yet hoping that one day
All my needs would be fulfilled

In the world a soul brushed mine
I could only watch another time
It is as all seekers see in reality
That there is one waiting for me

— Sparrow, Feb 20, 2018

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just a jotting for Feb's contest..

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Wordsworth, and most I have read., This month My pic is a modern painting of a Sparrow that I have decoupaged, The artist was not mentioned but many thanks to the one that made the original..

Critiques

raj

8 years 3 months ago

Hi Ian

This is a beautiful melancholic poem. I guess the organizers of the contest are going to find it tough to choose a winner.

Thanks for the experience of feeling the emotions flowing through your pen.....

Best wishes and regards...

Sparrow

8 years 3 months ago

Raj

Many thanks for your comment on this piece, it flowed with my feelings from the tip of my pen, though I had to tap a few keys to transpose it to the reader lol,
Take care my friend and great to see you here walking with my thoughts,
Yours as always Ian..