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Dec 30, 2017
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Chichidodo
Greatly in love
Have you fallen
With this magot
A blessing from above
You have called it
Yet the sight of its
Place of birth you say
Is the most abominable
On mother earth.
Chichidodo, Oh, Chichidodo!
The elders of Africa have
Asked me to ask you
How, how can your worst
Abomination still be the
Habitation of your nutrition
and even of your inspiration?
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Cloudthings
6 years 7 months ago
Hi Wonderman
I have returned to Neopoet after a long absence - I was asked to review this work & am quite pleased to do so.... I am intrigued as to what Chichidodo means, for starters.... Wonderfully evocative word it is. My impression is that this is a mourning work... lamenting that the chosen object of affection (that maybe replaced you?) is the height of unworthiness - & on second reading it may well be referring to Nations, globally, that have tainted your beloved country. The myriad of interpretations & parallels here are a credit to your writing I think, especially if you agree that one gift of poetry should be to make people think, reflect & hopefully learn from what has been offered.
I feel this has been powerfully expressed. I feel your compassionate disappointment -
I should go & see if you are still submitting here.